Heart and Home
by Jess.91
Summary: Sometimes, the hardest thing to see is something right there in front of you. Sometimes, you know someone so well you don't realise just how you feel about them. Sometimes, you have to lose your heart to find your way home. Next gen, James Potter centric.
1. Chapter 1

Hi. Am back. So, this is connected to, but independent of, _Fire and Ice. _It fits in with my next generation world, but it's not necessary to read any of my other work first. I actually started writing this when I was still writing _Ten Little Things_ but then the idea for _Fire and Ice_ came along, and I figured posting in chronological order made more sense.

Anyway, Allison Longbottom is the middle child of Neville and Hannah, and my own creation. Mitch is her brother; Lydia is her sister. I'd love to hear what people think of this, so I'll stop now and get on with the story.

Heart and Home

Chapter 1

_She knew it was childish to sulk, and Mitch said it was girlie, too, even though he sulked all the time. But right now this minute, Allison Longbottom didn't care – she was going to sit right here and sulk all she wanted._

_She managed almost a minute before James came over, in something between a walk and a run. She'd heard Aunt Ginny say loads of times that James never walked, and Ally thought maybe that was true – if he wasn't running, he was moving like this. _

"_Hey, Ally." He said brightly."What's'matter?"_

_She glared. "I want to play too."_

"_Oh." His smile faded a little. "But you might get hurt, Ally. You're only little." He flicked a glance towards their respective little sisters, who were making daisy chains and talking animatedly. Clearly he thought she'd be better suited joining them._

"_Albus is little." Ally pointed out. "And you're letting him play."_

"_But Al's a b -" He cut himself off just in time. "I mean, Albus is a couple months older than you, Ally."_

_She knew he'd been about to say "boy" but decided to let it go. "But I want to play."_

_James hesitated, obviously torn. "How 'bout this? You can play, but you have to wrestle with Al? 'Cause me or Mitch might hurt you, but you should be OK with Al. You could even win him." He said it with the faint disdain an older brother feels for his younger one. _

_Ally brightened. "OK." She didn't much want to wrestle with James or Mitch anyways. They were a lot stronger than her. James' smile slipped back into place, and he held out his hand. Ally took it, and let him pull her to her feet._

She opened her eyes nervously, and sighed with relief when she recognised the house, its red bricks dull in the darkness. The dark wood that framed the windows and doors was barely distinguishable without any light behind the glass. It should have looked unwelcoming, cold, and even, with the trees around the side of it, creepy. Yet it didn't. And to Allison Longbottom, the house was her refuge.

She felt, suddenly, dangerously close to crying. This was safety, this was comfort, and this was the first place she'd thought of when she'd walked out of her house. Her house. The tiny little house that she'd hated, but happened to live in.

Maybe it would have made more sense to go to her parents' and let them, and her younger sister, fuss over her. Or to go to Rose, who was, after all, her closest friend in the entire world. But she hadn't; she'd come to James.

She forced herself to breathe, in and out, until she felt steady again. She had cried on James Potter's shoulder more times that she could count, and she knew that he wouldn't mind her doing it again. But she refused to cry any more over _him._

She looked at the house for a moment longer, absently pleased that she'd apparated to the right place – over the last few months, she'd been struggling with it a little, which was, according to everyone else, perfectly normal.

Being pregnant could throw off your magic a little, apparently.

She started up the path, glad that it wasn't too far up to the front door. The back garden was large, but the front wasn't so long. She didn't think she could've handled a hike up to the front door.

She tried the door first. She'd known James Potter her whole life; knocking on his door would feel strange.

Unfortunately, it looked like she'd have to; the door was locked, and after pulling out her wand and attempting to charm it open, she realised he'd taken his security seriously. It might have, another time, made her smile, because hardly anyone else she knew bothered with muggle locks.

But that was James.

With a sigh, she knocked softly on the door. There was no sound from inside; it was ten to midnight, and she realised that if he was asleep, she'd have to knock louder. It was a part of her basic character that she hesitated guiltily before doing so, reluctant to drag him from his bed.

She banged on the door, waited, and banged on it again. When no sound came from within, when no lights came on, she sighed.

It hadn't occurred to her that he wouldn't be home. He'd always, always been there when she needed him, more so than her own brother had. She was almost two years younger than him, and though she'd been in his brother's year at school, though she'd been his cousin's best friend, though her own brother had been James' age, they'd been drawn together from the beginning; as a child, she'd followed him around, her usual shyness muted around him. He'd accepted her, and treated her with a patience he'd rarely offered his brother, and even sometimes his sister. As teenagers, they'd become friends as well as family, part of a large group spanning both their year groups. When she was fifteen, they'd tried being a couple, because everyone thought that they should. It hadn't worked; too used to being friends, to the easy, almost sibling-like relationship, they'd found it difficult to act like a couple.

But he'd always, always been the person she ran to in a crisis. Mostly, she figured, because he was _James_, solid and understanding. Because she knew that if she went to him, he'd listen, comfort, and do what he could to fix it. When she was six, a boy had pushed her over in the park. James had listened, briefly comforted, then ordered Mitch to stay with her, while he went across the park to the boy. Less than a minute later, she'd gotten an apology off the kid. That had been the event that had conditioned her to go to him in crisis.

And so when Allison Longbottom had gone home and found her fiancé in bed with another woman, she'd come here, to James.

"Come on, James, you have to be home." She muttered. She was just about to turn away, walk round to the back and hope that he was less strict with his back door lock when she heard a click; the door opened.

"Ally?" His expression went from irritated to worried the second he realised it was her. She could tell, just by looking at him, that he _had_ been asleep, but not for very long. "What's wrong – what's happened?" He stepped back automatically to let her in; she stepped forward and allowed herself a moment to be amazed by the house again.

From where she stood, she could see the upstairs, where three bedrooms resided. The living area, to her left, was open and uncovered, so that if she'd stood on the second level, she have been able to look down into it. She loved every inch of the house, and was insanely jealous of him for living in it.

"Ally?" James said, pulling her out of her thoughts. She walked into the living area, decided she wanted to sit before she humiliated herself. She considered sitting on the window seat; instead chose the sofa by the opposite wall, and sat down heavily. For a moment, she studied the third wall, where a fireplace rested between shallow bookshelves.

"Ally." He stood in front of her, evidently committed to making her talk. "What's wrong – is it the baby?"

"No." She said quickly, appalled that she'd let him worry, think the worst. "Sorry, I didn't think. The baby's fine, and so am I." She rested both hands on her expanded abdomen, and fixed her gaze on the space where, until a little while ago, an engagement ring had rested. "Archie's cheating on me though."

"What?" He stepped towards her, then spun round to face the front door. She knew that he was deciding whether to stay with her or go to her fiancé.

Ex-fiancé. It sounded, even in her head, weird. James faltered; his instincts, she thought affectionately, telling him to protect and avenge, all at once. Because that was who he was.

"Was cheating on me." She corrected herself, her voice flat. "We're officially over now, as immature as that sounds." She raised her hand to show him the lack of engagement ring. "I threw the ring at him. It bounced off his forehead. Would've been funny if there hadn't been a naked woman in my bed."

Her bed. Only it was his bed, really, Ally thought. His bed, his house, and she'd simply moved into it almost year ago. Had she really thought she could be at home there, when she'd hated every inch of the place?

"I...I'm sorry." James said softly. He'd walked forward, sat down on the sofa next to her.

She smiled softly. "You never liked him anyway."

"I...I didn't think he was good enough for you, that's all." James shrugged.

She began to play with her hair, twirling a lock of it around her finger. "She – the woman – was more his type, I think, than me. Brunette, very gorgeous, and...classy, I suppose is the word."

"Yeah. Takes real class to sleep with someone else's fiancé." James replied mildly. "Ally, I didn't think he was good enough for you, but I'm still sorry. You want me to go curse him?"

"Not now." She replied with a smile. "Can I stay here for a while?"

"Of course. Two extra bedrooms." He reminded her.

She laughed, because she still felt like crying. What else were you supposed to do at the end of an almost-two-year relationship, with a broken engagement and an eight month pregnancy? "Only you would buy a three-bed house to live in alone."

"I fell for the place." He shrugged again. With anyone else, the gesture may have seemed awkward. But she'd never known James to look or act awkward at all. It was something she still envied him for. "Are you sure you're OK?"

She nodded. "Tired, though."

"No, you're not." He replied flatly. "We're going to talk about this, Allison."

She winced at the use of her full name. No one had called her Allison since she was...well, ever. Except her parents, when she was in trouble.

"There's nothing to talk about." She said, then glanced up and met his eyes. She sighed, then shrugged. "I hate his guts, I'm angry, humiliated, and I hate myself for ever getting involved with him in the first place."

"And the baby?"

She looked confused, not understanding what he meant.

"Do you hate the baby? He's the father." He said it casually, leaning back.

There was a small wave of anger, that he'd consider it of her. But more, there was hurt, because she thought he knew her better than that.

"Didn't think so. Had to check, though." He said calmly, causing her to glare at him for a few more minutes. He offered her a grin. "C'mon, Ally, I had to make sure."

"Huh." Was the only reply she could think of.

"Did you hit him?" He asked casually.

"No." She felt, just a little, ashamed that she hadn't. "Yelled at him, though."

He raised his eyebrows. "I don't remember the last time I heard you yell. It's just not something you do."

"Yeah, well, this was a special occasion." She replied flatly. She refused to look at him, hoping he wouldn't ask if she'd cried.

Because the answer would be yes, and she didn't want to admit that, even to him. He'd know. Of course he'd know. But still.

"I gotta pee." She announced, struggling to her feet.

"'K. I'll put your bag upstairs. Middle room OK?"

"It's fine." She replied, knowing she had little choice; the middle room was the only spare with a bed inside. Impulsively, she flung her arms around him when she stood, and was comforted when he hugged her back. "Sometimes," she said brightly, deliberately lightening the atmosphere, "I really, really, _really_ love you."

"Is this one of those times?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes. Yes it is." She released him, and smiled before she turned away. She walked past the staircase, down the short hallway. A piano sat there, directly opposite the front door, despite James being unable to play. He'd simply thought a piano would look nice there. He'd been right, too. To her left, double sliding doors – open, so that it appeared to be simply an archway – lead to the kitchen; to her right, identical doors, also open, lead to another short hallway. She went right; directly opposite her was another window seat; left was the conservatory, assessable by more sliding doors, and to her right was her goal; the small downstairs toilet.

She could hear him in the kitchen when she came back out, and because she wanted to be alone – and she knew he'd understand and respect that – she walked back round to the stairs, and made her way up.

She paused a moment in the upstairs hall to look down, at the living area and the entrance. It never failed to impress her.

The middle bedroom was almost empty; though James had carefully furnished the rest of the house, the spare bedrooms had been neglected. A bed and a wardrobe was all it offered. Her bag – her every possession magically packed inside – sat on the bed. She shifted it to the floor, and without bothering to change or even slide under the covers, laid on her side and closed her eyes.

She was asleep in seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, thanks a lot for all the reviews.

Chapter 2

For a moment, when she woke, Ally didn't know where she was. The ceiling she found herself looking at wasn't the off-white one that usually greeted her, the blanket over her was unfamiliar, and the bedroom was definitely not hers.

And then it all came back to her. Her stomach twisted as she remembered exactly why she was looking up at the clean white ceiling of James' spare room, rather than the faded one she was used to. It was strange not to wake up and remind herself that the ceiling needed another coat of paint, strange not to hear Archie's breathing beside her, or the creaking of the plumbing.

She sat, pushing the blanket away. James had checked on her, then, she decided, aware there'd been no blanket when she fell asleep. She took a moment to smile a little at the gesture, but the smile faded after a moment.

She felt worse today. Yesterday she'd been upset, ashamed, angry, but exhaustion had taken the edge off of it all. Today, she felt it all, and dread; because she'd have to tell her family today. A broken engagement was hardly something she could hide, however much she wanted to. Suppressing the urge to crawl into the bed and hide under the covers for the rest of her life, Ally stood, and, despising the general feeling of uncleanness that came with sleeping in her clothes, looked around for her bag. It was exactly where she'd thrown it, and it pleased her to know that James wouldn't have thought of putting away.

She'd hardly seen him lately, she realised guiltily, and it had been about two months since she'd even been in his house, so it was nice to know he hadn't changed.

Archie had been jealous of her closeness to James, and her other friends and family; without her really noticing he'd managed to cut down the amount of time she spent with him James and the others. It annoyed her now; the way she'd given in to him so often, because it seemed easier than putting up with his sulks, never once telling him that he was being stupid and immature, even if she'd thought it.

Why had she put up with it? And why, for that matter, had she lived in that house she'd hated? She'd hated the layout, the size, the decor, the furniture, the location, the tiny back garden and sheer lack of a front garden. Archie had promised her that they would move when the baby was born, yet he'd decorated the little spare room into a nursery. She'd known they weren't moving any time soon, but she hadn't pushed.

"Unassertive as always, Ally." She muttered darkly as she dragged some clean clothes from her bag. "Just let everyone walk all over you, and don't react. Twenty-two, for goodness' sake. Should have a damn backbone by now."

She dressed quickly, leaving her clothes on the floor. She'd clean them later, but for now they could stay there. She slipped into the bathroom, toothbrush clutched in her hand.

By the time she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, she felt more human again. Though still unhappy, and still with the niggling urge to hide under the covers forever.

"Hey." James greeted her, as she sat at the table. "How you feeling?" He was cooking, she noted idly. Every once in a while she compared him, the grown man, with the boy she'd grown up with. It was strange and sweet to find the differences and simularities and know that she held great affection for both the boy and the man.

She looked down at the table, slid her hand over the cool, smooth, pale wood. "I've got to go to my mum's today." She said finally, avoiding his question. "Tell her what's happened, make sure she let's Dad know." She suppressed the brief flare of resentment that her father was at Hogwarts and not here, where she needed him to be, and continued speaking. "And Lydia and Mitch." That would be the worst. Admitting to Mitch that he was right; that she and Archie hadn't worked.

She looked up in surprise as James set a plate in front of her. He didn't ask or order her to eat, simply turned back to pick up his own plate, assuming would. It had been a long while since someone made her breakfast. Sentimentally, she started to eat.

"It can wait, Ally, if you're not up to it." He told her, sitting opposite her. "It's not exactly urgent that they find out. You can hide out here for a few days, get yourself together."

She shook her head. "I have to tell them." And then she'd have to tell Rose, she thought sadly, and the rest. Soon everyone who mattered to her would know that she'd failed at her marriage before it had even began.

James reached over, took hold of her hand. "You want me to come with you?"

She knew she should have said no; knew that this was her life, her problems, and she should learn to face them alone. Knew that she should learn to be independent, rather than relying on other people.

"Yes, I do." She said, and despised herself a little bit for it.

-------

At least Mitch wasn't here. That was all she could think, as she let herself into the place she'd grown up in. And it upset her that she was so pleased not to see her brother.

They'd always had a delicate relationship, but at her engagement party they'd had a big fight, and he'd hurt her, a lot.

For once, she wasn't going to back down, even if he had been right about Archie.

They entered the little living room, and Ally filled with sentiment as she looked around, at the old sofa, the almost brand-new chair, and the little things that showed it was lived in. It was the only real home she'd ever had; knowing she was never going back to Archie's house gave her the silver lining in this whole mess.

Her sister Lydia, three years younger than she was, walked through the doorway from the kitchen, and blinked once before smiling brightly and throwing herself at Ally, hugging her tightly.

"Ally! No one ever tells me _anything_ – I didn't know you were coming home." The baby of the family, the loudest and brightest, Lydia never failed to make Ally smile. She was tiny, a full three inches shorter than Ally, and slimmer with it, their mother's blonde hair long and straight down her back. The hair had been one of Ally's envies as a teenager; her own hair, though almost as straight and long as her sister's, was a dark red.

"It's sort of a surprise." Ally said, with a twisted smile Lydia didn't notice. "Is mum? Danny was working the bar." And she'd changed her mind about wanting her father here. Neville had liked Archie well enough, got on with him, and Ally didn't think she could face his reaction. She'd tell her mum, she thought, and tell Lydia. They'd make sure Mitch and Neville knew, and she wouldn't have to worry about it.

"She's out – somewhere. I don't remember." Lydia waved this aside with a careless gesture. "Is everything OK?"

Ally ignored the question, crossed the small living room and looked out of the widow. The busy muggle street, with its busy muggle people, had always fascinated her. As a child, she'd watched them for hours.

It had been somewhat strange, growing up above a pub. While other children had had a house, maybe even a garden, they'd had a few rather small rooms above a bar, and guest rooms outside. Maybe she ought to feel deprived; but Ally had loved the novelty of living above a pub, and the way there was always something happening in the bar; a story, an argument, a joke.

"You're looking bright today, Lydie." James commented. "I can practically see the energy around you."

Lydia laughed lightly, but her eyes stayed worried. "It's the top. Green suits me." She tugged at the hemline of the emerald green vest-top, and tilted her head, silently asking what was wrong with her sister. James only shook his head, and Lydia, understanding she'd have to wait, took a seat.

Aware of the exchange, even if she hadn't seen it, Ally turned around, knowing that she could tell Lydia, easier that she'd even told James. Lydia, ever the romantic, had supported her engagement more so than anyone else, and Lydia wouldn't judge. For a moment, Ally surveyed her little sister, who was now sat on the long sofa with her legs folded underneath her. Nineteen, she thought, and still believing that the world was, underneath it all, mostly good, that people were, at heart, basically good. It was part of Lydia's charm, that easy trust, but Ally found herself wondering if it made Lydia more vulnerable, and if this situation would take some of that from her.

"The wedding's off." Ally said casually, even though the words caused that twist of the gut again. Lydia's mouth dropped open.

"What? Why?"

"Archie decided monogamy wasn't his thing after all." She shrugged, as though it didn't matter. And because it did matter, the pretence cost her.

Lydia understood instantly – she hadn't been a Ravenclaw for nothing. Lydia felt a moment of shock and disbelief, felt her heart break a little for her sister, and then jumped to her feet, somehow managing not to trip herself over. Her temper spiked, which was rare. "He was – he was having an _affair_? I don't believe it! How dare he – where's Mitch – send him over, send him to Archie and he'll jinx him to next Tuesday -"

"Lydie." Ally said loudly, cutting of her sister's rant. It was slightly amusing to watch the almost fairy-like Lydia get so worked up. "We're not sending Mitch anywhere." And she wondered, had to wonder, if Mitch would even go if she tried. She half smiled as Lydia moved forward, slipped her arms around Ally waist and hugged her. "It's just over, it doesn't matter." Ally murmured, but hugged her sister back.

"Of course it matters." James said, his tone somewhat sharp. "And don't even think about forgiving him and going back -"

"I wasn't." She said coolly. "I wouldn't go back if...if...for anything."

Anger, shame, hurt, spouted inside her. Did he really think her that weak? That dependent?

Was she?

The sound of a door opening, closing, cut off her thoughts; Hannah walked into the room, her face brightening when she saw her eldest daughter. Lydia silently released Ally and shifted, so that she was stood by her side, one arm around the back of her waist. It was for support, Ally knew, and comfort.

"Ally! What are you doing here?" Hannah's face was bright; it didn't occur to her that something would be wrong, her only thought that it was nice to see her daughters casually united.

"She's left Archie." Lydia said flatly. Hannah jerked slightly, her gaze flicked to Lydia, to James and then back to Ally, her expression seeking confirmation. "He was doing some other lass."

Only James noticed Ally's eyes flicker at the statement, but even he didn't understand just how harsh it was to hear the words, in that form, in that casual tone (even if there was anger underneath it).

"Lydia." Hannah, her tone reprimanding, looked at her youngest daughter. "Why don't you and James go down stairs? Get Danny to give you some free drinks."

"Come on, Jaime." Lydia said, using the nickname only she called him by. She took his hand, swinging her arm – and his – as they walked towards the door. "How's things been with you, anyway? You haven't come to see me in weeks..."

"Well?" Hannah asked softly, as the door closed. "Is it true?"

Ally nodded, unable to speak.

Hannah walked slowly towards her, wrapped her arms around her.

And because Lydia's words still played on her mind, and because it was her mother, and Ally knew she wouldn't judge her for it, she cried a little.

-----

When Mitch Longbottom walked into his parents' living room, calling out a greeting, he found his mum and sister, side by side on the sofa. His mother was stroking Ally's hair; Ally's face was tear-stained.

"What's going on?" He asked instantly. The second Ally looked up and met his eyes, they cooled; her expression became carefully blank. It hurt a little, not only the way she looked at him, but to see that something was obvious wrong, and she was obviously not going to tell him. It bothered him, the way things were between himself and his sister; but he didn't know how to fix it.

"Mitch." Hannah sighed it, painfully aware of the sudden tension in the air. "Lydia let you up here?"

"She didn't see me." Mitch replied absently. "Busy flirting with James." He shrugged, unconcerned, because Lydia's flirting was always innocent and harmless, and she had never been interested in James. And even if she had been, it would never occur to James. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed up here." He added; despite the words, the question – what's wrong? – was clear.

"I have to go." Ally said, standing quickly. She couldn't tell him, or witness her mother doing it.

"You've been crying." Mitch stated.

"Well done, detective." She snapped, wiping her face with the back of her hands. Humiliation triggered her temper. "Don't look so surprised – I was always weak and over emotional, with – with no mind or opinions of my own, no guts, always depending on other people to fix my problems, right?" They were his words, ones he'd tossed at her months ago. "Don't worry, Mitch, I'm not expecting any help from you."

He didn't speak, didn't react, and so she didn't know how ashamed he felt. She hated that a part of her expected, hoped, that he'd apologise. She turned away, back to Hannah. "Mum, I'm staying with James for a while."

"Ally, you're always welcome to stay here." Hannah said wearily.

Ally looked back at her brother. Mitch may not live here anymore, but his flat was only five minutes' walk away, and he worked downstairs in the pub most nights and days. They'd long since known that he'd take over when her mother was ready. This was his place.

She shook her head. "I'm staying with James." She repeated, and forced herself to keep her pace even as she walked towards the door.

It didn't slam behind her, that wasn't Ally style. Instead, it closed with a quiet click, and Hannah sighed, sat back down on the sofa.

"Mum? What is it, what's happened? Something's wrong with Ally..."

Hannah nodded, looked at him sadly. "She and Archie...they've split up. He was having an affair, Mitch." He felt his gut twist at the words. "Can you belief it?" Hannah murmured. "I never saw it coming..."

Mitch almost cringed. "She'll be OK." He said, in an attempt to comfort his mother. The guilt swamped him. Because he _had_ seen this coming, and evidently hadn't done enough to protect Ally.

----------

"Ally." Lydia swiftly moved over to her as she walked through the crowded bar. "You're leaving?" Her hand automatically went to Ally's back, rubbing soothing circles. Her eyes were clearly pleading with her not to leave, and Ally knew Lydia wanted to talk, to attempt comfort. But, right now, she didn't feel up to facing the sympathy.

"I'll be a James' if you need me." Ally said quietly. "You can come over anytime." _Just not today,_ was the silent plea, and Ally knew her sister understood it.

"Why don't you stay here? Is this because of Mitch?" Lydia asked, biting her bottom lip a little. "Ally, I know he hurt you, but he didn't mean any of it, really. He was just being...being Mitch."

"Lydie...I can't. I'll see you later, OK?" She hugged her quickly, then turned and picked her way through the crowd.

"I didn't realise things were so bad." James said softly to Lydia. "I knew they'd fallen out, but..."

"He just really didn't like Archie, didn't want her to marry him, especially since he was certain they were only getting married 'cause of the baby." Both irritation at and defence of her brother glimmered in her tone, the sign that her loyalties were split. "I don't know exactly what he said, but he hurt her. I guess he thought he could shock her out of the whole thing or something."

"Why hasn't he apologised?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. You'd have to ask him."

"Maybe I will." James muttered. "I'll see you later, Lydia. You come over whenever you want, alright?"

"Will do." With an easy affection unique to her, Lydia hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. "Go catch up with my sister."

"'K. Bye."

She waved at him, then shook her head, smiling slightly. Those two living together, she decided, might just prove her right after all this time.


	3. Chapter 3

Big big thanks for the reviews.

Chapter 3

She went straight back to James' and straight up to the bathroom, because he wouldn't bother her in the shower. He wouldn't ask her about Mitch, ask if she was OK, offer her sympathy that she didn't feel she deserved.

It was strange, really, that he knew every aspect of her relationship with her brother, every argument or happy memory. Hell, he'd witnessed a large part of it. And yet she'd never told him the story with this one, and neither, she was certain, had Mitch.

Wasn't much of a story, she mused. But it was one story too far; one argument too many, and she couldn't bring herself to just forgive and forget it all. Didn't, she supposed, want to. She'd spent her whole life falling out with her brother, and she couldn't remember a single time _he'd_ put the effort into resolving it. So this time, this one time, she'd committed herself to waiting for him to make the first move, make the apology, and fix things.

Only he hadn't.

Had it really been five months since they'd had a proper conversation? Sine they'd sat in the same room with no tension? Yes, she thought sadly. Five months ago, she'd announced her pregnancy – twelve weeks pregnant, she remembered – and her engagement. And her brother...

She stopped thinking about it, made herself stop thinking about it, because she was sick of crying. And hated knowing that that was what she did; when in crisis, cry and run to someone else.

Mitch was right, she thought bitterly. Some of the things he'd said was right.

"Ally?" Her name was accompanied by a knock on the door, which annoyed her. The boy never could take a hint, she thought resentfully.

"Shower." She said flatly. "Go 'way."

"Just making sure you were OK." James replied mildly. There was a pause, in which she knew he was waiting for her to speak. She remained silent and heard him leave.

She'd been excited about having a child, becoming a mother, she remembered sadly. Now she was alone and terrified.

She hated Archie just a little bit more for stealing the excitement from her. Now, she couldn't picture being a mother, going through the good things that her parents had done and resolving to repeated them, and remembering the bad things that she promised herself she'd never do. She couldn't imagine a tiny baby, a bright eyed toddler, a cute child, like she had been doing. Couldn't picture snippets of family life when she lay awake at night; imagining family meals or outings (sometimes with another child or two present, though she didn't like to plan too far ahead) cosy nights cuddled together on the sofa or snuggling to bed with her child to read them a story. Couldn't wonder if her son or daughter would look like her, or like Archie, if he or she would be active and loud, or quiet and serious. If they'd prefer to draw pictures or read books.

She couldn't do _any_ of that, because now the future was horribly uncertain. She didn't know where she'd be in a week, never mind a year, a decade. And there was no longer a father in the picture. Well, maybe Archie _would_ still be around, but it wouldn't be the same, would it? Having him take the baby for the weekend, or for a few hours during the day wasn't the same as sitting down at the table with him.

The simple truth of it was that she was now completely and totally alone. And though she still had all the people around her that she'd always had, she was more alone than she'd even been.

Alone. Ally shivered, despite the hot water, as the word spun around her head. She was alone, and had no idea how to handle it.

------

He cooked. He'd never been a brilliant cook, but his mother had made sure he was capable, at least, of preventing starvation. Mostly, he knew, because she hadn't learned herself until she'd moved out; never had to cook, what with the Hogwarts elves and her mother.

But James needed to do something, and cooking was the only thing he could think of. So he'd feed Ally, and make her tell him what the hell was going on with her and Mitch. Then he'd fix it – because Ally needed her family now.

Thinking about that, James decided he'd go see his own sister this week. He'd so far managed to keep to the promise he'd made himself when Lily had gotten engaged – that no matter what happened, he wouldn't let his little sister slip away from him. She may be a married woman now (and that was both terrifying and amusing) but she was still, and always would be, his baby sister.

His head snapped up as Ally walked into the kitchen, wearing an ancient pair of jeans and an ancient hooded top he'd given her years ago when it ceased to fit him. Her pregnancy bump was just visible beneath it, making him smile.

"You look cute." He told her affectionately, causing her to smile back slightly, in that indulgent way of long-term friends. "Food?"

"Sure." She replied, because she knew he wasn't really giving her a choice. She didn't notice what was on the plate he set in front of her, nor taste it as she ate in silence.

"So." James said, leaning back against the counter. "Mitch." He'd thought about it, considered leaving well alone, and rejected the idea. Because he'd seen the pain in Ally's eyes when she'd come back down to the bar, and he had to do his best to fix that – especially since he'd noticed Mitch, and hadn't stopped him from going upstairs.

"What about him?" Ally kept her tone casual enough, but the warning was clear underneath it. James caught it, and ignored it.

"Allison." He laced his own tone with a clear message – _we're going to talk about this._

She looked up, glared. "You know I don't think you've ever called me that in my whole life. Then I show up here in the middle of the night and you get to use my full name?"

"Yup. It's a rule that comes along with the free room." He replied lightly.

She hesitated. It was true that he was providing a free room, a roof over her head when she needed it; and she also knew that he'd never think of charging her a penny. Seizing on the change of subject, she tilted her head. "I can pay rent..."

"Damn it Ally, don't pull that routine on me, OK?" He replied impatiently. "We both know I don't want any money from you. And we both know you wouldn't pay me if I asked. Don't think that you can avoid talking about this -"

She felt something snap inside her. It wasn't anger, not really. More exhaustion; she was tired of talking to him, tired of seeing in his expression that he wanted to fix her life, and tired of worrying about her damaged relationship with her brother.

She stood, slowly, and walked from the room. It was, she thought as she grabbed her coat and left the house, the first time she'd ever walked away from James.

She didn't care for the feeling.

------

She went to Rose. Her other closest friend, her best girl friend, since birth. And if Ally had to start telling people that her marriage had failed before it had began, why not start with Rose?

She knocked here, before walking in, for the simple fact that it wasn't only Rose who lived here. And it was Lorcan who looked into the hallway.

Nineteen, his purple hair the same it had been since he was fourteen, and his face bright and boyish, Lorcan didn't look like one half of a serious relationship. But Ally knew that he and Rose were serious about each other, had been from the start of their year-and-a-half long relationship. And she knew how much Rose had struggled, with the three year age-gap between them, and with the seriousness of it, for most of that first year. It was nice, however, to see them settled, now, living together and completely at ease with each other, completely in synch.

She'd never had the same dynamic with Archie, she realised.

"Ally." Lorcan's smile faded a little as he moved towards her, and without a word he pulled her into a hug. Because she needed it, she leaned against him. After several seconds, he drew back, offered her a sympathetic smile.

"I'll get Rose." He told her, and walked back to the kitchen. She smiled slightly, knowing that he'd recognised something was wrong, recognised she wanted Rose. And wondered if it was a blessing or a curse that those closest could read her so well.

She moved into the small living room, took a seat. She'd lived here, not so long ago. She and Rose had moved in a few months after they'd left Hogwarts. It had been both scary (living without adults, having to be grown-up and responsible, sort of) and fun. Then she'd moved in with Archie; and Lorcan had moved in here.

Rose was walking down the stairs. Ally watched as Lorcan kissed her goodbye, told her he'd be at Lily and Scorpius' if she needed him. With a smile and wave for Ally, he left as Rose walked into the room.

"He's a sweetheart." Ally said, smiling. "If you get tired of that one, Rose, send him over to me." When Rose simply grinned at her, Ally shook her head. "Not gonna get tired of him, are you?"

"Doesn't look like it." Rose replied. She was OK with that, now. Completely OK with it. Even if she did, just once or twice every while, wonder if he'd resent her when he got a bit older, if he'd decide he was – despite all his assurances now – too young to be tied down. Mostly, she believed they could go the distance. "He's got a brother though, if you remember."

"Huh. Haven't seen Zander in so long, I practically forgot about him. He coming home any time soon?"

Rose shrugged. "Doubtful. Last letter was from Mexico." And it still bothered Lorcan, she knew, that there'd be no hints of any visits home, no questions about the family.

"He's been on his travels for a year now." Glad of the chance to put off telling her news, Ally seized the conversation. "How long can it take to see the world?"

"I don't know. Lorcan misses him like crazy, and their parents are going mad with worrying about it. I've got to admit, I never thought he was this selfish."

"Was always moody, though." Ally replied. "I'd say he was just sulking with someone but...well, even Lysander can't sulk this long."

"I know. But since I also know you didn't come here to talk about Zander, what's wrong?"

Ally sighed, and refused to look at the floor, though she wanted to. Instead, she met Rose's eyes and slowly lifted her left hand.

It took only a moment.

"You've finally ended it?" Rose crossed the room in three steps.

"Yes."

"For real? Why?" Rose asked, and then knelt down in front of Ally. Almost to her amusement, Ally saw the exact moment in clicked in Rose's mind. "Oh, damn. I'll kill him. I'll _kill_ him."

"No you won't. It's OK. I'm OK. We're finished, I've moved out, and it's not important."

"Not important?" Rose surged to her feet, showing the anger Ally had barely felt. "How dare he do this to you? After – all his stupid promises, and he swore to me -" Rose turned back to face her, her expression one akin to pity. "What about the baby?"

Tears pricked her eyes. "I don't know." She whispered, and Rose walked back to her, sat beside her and wrapped her arms around her.

"OK. Everything'll be OK." Rose murmured, her tone soothing. "Where are you staying?"

"With James. I'm so ashamed Rose. How could I let this happen?"

"You didn't. This isn't your fault, Ally. Please don't blame yourself."

Ally didn't answer. Rose was the only person who knew the whole story, the only person who had all the facts.

Because Ally couldn't bring herself to tell anyone else that this wasn't the first time her fiancé had committed adultery.

--------

She'd just found out she was pregnant. Excited, terrified, and a whole bunch of other emotions she couldn't even distinguish, she told Archie.

Who'd decided to share his own news, too. Full of apologies and shame, saying how he wanted to start with a clean slate, a real family now.

An affair. The words spun round her head, again and again. He'd been having an affair with someone from work, while she'd been buying things for the house, trying to make it look more homely, to make herself like living there. He'd betrayed her while she'd been imagining their future.

She still didn't know how he'd talked her round. Somehow, it seemed to make sense when he told her they could put it all behind them, that he'd never do it again, that they could have a proper future, a proper family.

Stupid, gullible Allison. She thought now. Hadn't she always been that way?


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again for the reviews. This is a pretty slow chapter, I think.

Chapter 4

James, too, had left the house, about ten minutes after she had.

"Shouldn't have pushed her." He'd muttered to himself, annoyed. "Know her better than to force her to talk about it, when she was so obviously upset." He repeated the words when he'd reached Teddy and Victoire's house, when he was sat on one of their sofas, their two year old son Cáel balanced on his knee. Teddy's daughters, Dora, Adelaide and Juno, eight, six and four, respectively, played noisily on the floor in front of him.

Victoire rolled her eyes at him. "James, just how weak and fragile do you think Ally is?"

"What?" He wasn't sure if he was confused or insulted. He didn't think of Ally as _weak._ Maybe fragile, right now, while she was upset and pregnant and everything.

"You seem to see her – always have, actually – as someone breakable, who you need to protect. She may have been upset." Victoire told him, pushing her blonde hair back from her face. It was just past her shoulders now, the shortest he ever remembered seeing it. She had, when he'd blinked at her in shock upon first seeing the shorter cut, told him that didn't have the time to fuss with it. He supposed four kids _would_ limit hair-fussing time. "But trying to make her talk about it won't break her. And yes, if she'd have sat there and cried, you'd be right to assume she was upset. But storming out? That's anger."

"Ally doesn't get angry." He replied automatically.

"Ally hides it well." Victoire replied evenly. "Has done since she was little. Afraid of upsetting anyone, not wanting the attention, and, I think, a little overshadowed by Mitch."

"Who, if you remember, has always been loud and – unconsciously – demanding attention." Teddy finished.

"Overshadowed by Mitch? That's..."

"Think about it. He's always been loud and moody, confident, mostly well-liked and good at Quidditch. Ally's always been shy and...sweet, I guess. Smart, but always nice. And it's easy, for some people at least, to focus on Mitch, who catches your attention, and not notice Ally." Teddy told him.

"And even her sister's more noticeable." Victoire continued. James vaguely noticed the double-team, wondered if Teddy and Victoire had always been this in sync with each other. "If you think about it, Lydia has the same confidence as Mitch, that ease with people that means she can – and always could – fit in easily with anyone, and be liked, flirt with every guy she knows without giving any the idea she'd interested, even if she actually is."

"I...Well, yeah. I guess that describe Lydia, and Mitch, but Ally...Yeah, OK she's shy and nice, but..."

"She's never been confident, never been comfortable in large groups or with strangers." Victoire told him. "Never, I think, been completely comfortable with who she is. You're too close to her to see it – to you, she's just Ally and that's how she is. Plus, you're a boy, and a confident person. You'll never understand just how insecure a girl can be, and how harshly girls judge themselves."

He raised his eyebrows. "Even you?"

"Of course."

"But you've always been beautiful." It wasn't a compliment, as everyone in the room knew. Simply a fact.

"Like that matters." Victoire laughed. She glanced over at her own daughters. Gorgeous, each of them; what else could they be with the Veela genes? And, Victoire knew, that wouldn't matter at all. "And they've got it all to come." She sighed.

James offered Teddy a look of pure sympathy.

----------

She went to The Leaky Cauldron, under the pretence of seeing Lydia. She wasn't sure what to say to James, yet, and so was avoiding going home.

It wasn't Lydia she found upstairs, however; when she let herself into the living room, she jumped. "Dad!"

Neville stood quickly, and crossed to her. For a moment, he only looked at her. Then he sighed and hugged her. "I'm sorry Ally. I know that's not really a comfort, but I am."

She hugged him back, unable to tell him just how much of no comfort it was that he was here, that there was genuine emotion in his voice. The solid embrace reminded her of being little; when her parents could fix any problem, when their arms brought safety. If only a hug could fix this, she thought sadly, finally drawing back. "What are you doing here?" She asked. "Shouldn't you be at Hogwarts?"

"It's Saturday, Ally." Neville told her, looking worried. "I came home last night. Your mother stopped me coming straight over to James'..." He still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about her living with James. Surely she should have come _home_? And...well, yes, she and James were practically family, but hadn't Lydia always said there was something more there, and everyone else was too stupid to see it? And hadn't Hannah and Ginny long since had their suspicions? And hadn't they actually been a couple for a little while when they were at school?

"Oh. Right. Ah..." She remembered, suddenly, being very, very little. And waking up on Friday morning, excited, because Dad would be coming home that night. And being upset or angry on Sunday night when he left again. Though Neville had sometimes made it home during the week, too, often his work had kept him away. She remembered the resentment, too, that feeling that her father would rather be at Hogwarts, planning lessons or marking homework, than being at home with his kids.

"Your mum's worried." He told her. "So are Lydia and Mitch." She managed not to snort. Her father had, somehow, managed to miss much of the tension between herself and her brother. "And me. I can get time off if you need me around -"

"No. I mean, there's no point, Dad. I'm OK, honest." He didn't seem to believe her, but nodded.

--------

When Ally finally let herself back into James's house, she found him sat in the living area. He put aside a book as she entered, and gave her a look that clearly told her to sit and talk.

She walked over, sat.

"Do you ever refuse to do something someone tells you to?" He asked her casually. The words stung, just a little.

"Of course I do. Look, if you want to talk, talk fast. I need a bath." She told him coolly.

"See. I knew you weren't weak, really." It was the conversation with Victoire that made him say it; as soon as the words were out he knew he shouldn't have spoken.

"Weak?" That, too, stung. "Are you deliberately trying to hurt me lately? We've never got on for every single second, but since I came here you keep saying things -"

"OK. I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean it like that, it, ah, came out wrong. But we need to talk about you and Mitch."

"Why?" She asked wearily.

"Because he's your brother, Ally. This needs fixing." He told her, with genuine concern. "I know you guys have always argued a lot -"

"I've never been the sister he wanted." She said flatly. "He's always wanted a sister who was good at Quidditch, who was fun and confident and who could be relaxed around his friends, like Lydia is. Not one who hasn't got the guts to even try out for the house team, who's shy and boring and awkward around his mates – barring you, of course."

"Ally -"

"It's true. He loves me, and I love him, I don't doubt that. But I've never been good enough for him, and I never will be. And I won't apologise for it. Yes, I'm weak, naive, a push-over, awkward and shy and all the rest. But I won't apologise for it, not even to him. And he had no right, no right at all, to say the things he said to me, just because he didn't agree with my choices."

"What did he say?" His eyes sharpened, just a little.

"I don't remember." She said flatly.

"You do. You've always had a great memory, Ally. And been a bad liar. Don't even try to tell me you don't remember every word." He said firmly. He couldn't, after all, fix it without all the facts.

"Fine! Fine! There were several comments about Archie, about how he was only marrying me for the baby, and because I wasn't the kind of wife who took much work." It came back with the words, that feeling of anger and hurt and disbelief, and so her voice was sharp. "That it would never work because Archie didn't see us as equals, and didn't love me. That I was making a stupid mistake, and everyone else knew it. And – and – that I'm weak, over-emotional, with no mind or opinions or guts, depending on other people to fix my problems. Stupid and gullible and always willing to believe anything anyone told me. So shy and insecure that I took any compliment or sign of affection from Archie straight to heart, and believed he loved me." Because her voice had risen, heated, she deliberately lowered and cooled it before speaking again. "I believe that was his description of me. Parts of it are even verbatim."

James suppressed the sudden, vicious anger at his oldest friend. "He was wrong."

"No. No, it's all true." And didn't that, she wondered, make it somehow worse? "But to throw it at me, in the way he did, it hurt. To take away my happiness like that – at my engagement party – isn't something I can't just forgive, not when he hasn't once tried to apologise."

"He was always a stubborn bas...I mean...Look, Ally. He never liked Archie. Never thought he was good enough for you and always knew he'd end up hurting you." He didn't mention that he'd felt almost as strongly. "Mitch didn't want you to marry him, and I guess he just got overly angry – look, I'm not defending him. He had no right, like you said. But I'd bet he had the right reasons."

Ally nodded. "And the right reasons, of course, mean that it doesn't matter how much he hurts me. But then again, I'm probably being over-emotional."

"For God's sake Ally -"

"You always had more patience for me than this." She said with a small smile. "Maybe if you hadn't been, hadn't been so understanding or accepting, I'd have been able to change, to make myself someone better a long time ago. I always wanted your approval, your respect."

"You always had it." He said quietly.

"Exactly. Without it, maybe I'd've improved myself." She shrugged. "I'm losing your patience and understanding now, though, aren't I? Well. It was bound to happen sometime. Goodnight, James."

She stood, walked for the stairs, leaving him stunned. And hated that a little part of her wanted him to run after her, to soothe and placate her.

But he didn't. Instead, he sat there, thought about everything she'd said, everything Teddy and Victoire had said. And wondered, really, just how well he knew her.

---------------------

By the time she wondered back down the stairs, Ginny Weasley was sat on the sofa. Ally paused, then smiled. "Auntie Ginny. Hey."

"Hi, Ally." There was extra warmth in Ginny's tone; so Ally was aware she _knew_. Still, she kept her smile in place as she moved forward, sat.

"How're you feeling?" Ginny asked. Ally's smile faltered only a fraction before Ginny continued; "I know the last weeks can be uncomfortable."

And Ally filled with gratitude. Ginny, at least, recognised that Ally didn't want to talk about her problems, even if James didn't. "Ah, yeah, fine. Baby moves a lot, but that's good, isn't it?"

"Definitely. This one," she gestured towards James, "soon as he started moving and kicking, never stopped. I hardly slept at all -"

"She loves telling people that." James interrupted, rolling his eyes then flashing a grin at his mother. "You need anything, Ally? I could make you some tea?"

"Ah, yeah, OK." It was a peace offering, she knew, and smiled as he headed for the kitchen.

"He's worried about you." Ginny murmured. "So am I."

Ally didn't bother saying she was fine, or that she'd be OK; she didn't know if it was true.

"He never could stand to see anyone in pain." Ginny added. "Remember when he was eight, and the two of you found a gnome in the garden, trapped under a tree branch?"

A smile bloomed across Ally's face as the memory came back. "Yeah. I told him not to go near it – gnomes creeped me out – but he got the branch off it, and ran inside with it to get you or Harry to fix it up."

Ginny nodded. "The thing bit him three times, and then bit Harry, too, when he was trying to look at it. And all the time, James kept screeching at us not to hurt it."

Ally laughed. "I remember. Bless." She also remembered his automatic defence of anyone, anywhere. And, suddenly, remembered all the times he'd defended her – not just from other people, but from herself.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for the reviews.

Chapter 5

Mitch Longbottom was not pleased to wake to the sound of someone beating on his door. Especially not at ten to eight in the morning on his day off. Especailly not when he'd planned to sleep till at leave noon.

"Alright, I'm coming!" He yelled, rolling out of bed. After pulling on his jeans and picking up his wand, he strode to the door and yanked it open, ready to kill whoever was on the other side. It was with some regret that he recognised his oldest, closest friend, and decided that he couldn't, really, kill him. Instead, he glared.

"James. Do you know what time it is? On my first day off in a month?"

"Shut up. Sit down. We need to talk." James said flatly, storming past him into the living area. "This place is a mess." He added as he sat down. Mitch blinked, looked around the room which was the same as always.

"Huh. Since I know that doesn't bother you, I'm guessing you're going to bitch at anything you can think of before you start on the real reason you're here." Mitch kicked the door shut.

"Well done." James snapped. "Wouldn't be so messy if it wasn't so small. Twenty three years old. Should have a damn house."

Mitch rolled his eyes as he walked over. "Right, sure. Most twenty-three year olds own houses, I'm sure. Remember, I'm only a few months away from turning twenty-four. Would make a better point with that." He threw himself into the armchair opposite James. "Anything else or can we get to the real point?"

"You." James snapped. "Ally. And what you said to her at her engagement party."

Mitch's irritated smile disappeared instantly. "That's nothing to do with you."

"Yes, it is. She's living with me, now. Bet you heard about Archie, huh?" He snapped it, because as far as he was concerned, Mitch should be there, now, with Ally. If it was his sister, James knew he'd be right by her side.

"Course I did." Mitch said, and his expression darkened ever so slightly.

"So don't you think she needs you around now? That you could just tell her you're sorry and you didn't mean any of it – which, by the way, she's taken completely to heart, just as you _knew_ she would, because that's the kind of person she is – and be her brother, be there for her, like you should?"

"I tried to be her brother, to be there for her, and she wouldn't listen to a word of it!" He couldn't help raising his voice. James had no right, after all, to have a go about something he didn't understand.

"Are you joking? She told me what you said to her. You really hurt her, and you know it."

"She didn't tell you why, though!" Mitch snapped, then sighed, rubbed a hand over his face. "She doesn't even know why. Look, James, I was trying to protect her. Maybe I didn't go about it the right way, but I've never been like you – that sort of stuff doesn't come easy to me. I was just trying to protect her."

"From what? What could have been that bad that you had to destroy the little confidence she had?" James raged. Both were talking loudly now, small degrees away from shouting. It wasn't nearly the first time they'd argued, wouldn't be the last.

"Archie. What else? He was the biggest mistake she's ever made, and she was the only one who couldn't see it."

"Look, none of us really liked him or wanted him in the family, but she loved him -"

"It wasn't that I didn't _like_ him James. I didn't, but that wasn't it. I'm not _that_ bad. You don't know what he was doing. I thought if I could just make her see, make her understand she was with him for all the wrong reasons – I don't think she actually even loved him - and get her to leave him, she'd be OK, and she'd never have to live with the – the humiliation that I knew, that I was the one who made him..." He trailed off.

"Mitch, I have no idea what you're talking about." James said flatly. But his anger was fading, becuase he knew there was something more, something valid.

Mitch sighed, looked up at him. They'd been best friends since birth. James was only a couple of months older than him. Almost every good memory he had featured him; they knew each other inside out, were as close as friends could be.

But his sister came first. He was a good enough brother to know that.

"She doesn't even know that I know. And it's not my secret to tell."

"Mitch, for God's sake. She matters to me, OK? Just as much as she does to you. How can I help her if I don't even know the full story?"

"I don't want to upset her any more than I already have." Mitch replied, making an effort to be reasonable. He was at his best in the morning, after all. The opposite of everyone he knew, he started the day in a well enough mood. He just, more often than not, didn't keep it.

"You think I'm going to go home and throw it in her face?" James demanded.

"No." He sighed, rubbed his face again. "All this before my morning coffee. OK. Here it is. This isn't the first time Archie's done this." The guilt only stung a little.

"Excuse me?"

"Right before Ally found out she was pregnant, _I_ found out he was screwing some woman he worked with." The anger and disgust still got to him.

"Are you serious?" James surged to his feet.

"Sit. Let me finish – this is the only chance you've got to hear the story." He waited until James threw himself back down, glaring. "Naturally, I went to him and -"

"Cursed him till he cried?"

"No, actually, I hit him. Easier than getting my wand out and deciding on a curse." It had been instinct, he remembered. He'd stormed over without a thought, walked straight into that awful little house, and hit Archie without thought. His mother would have disaproved, but Mitch didn't regret it. "We had a long conversation, in which it was decided that if he didn't go home and tell my sister exactly what he'd done, I'd rip him into tiny little pieces."

"Why not tell her yourself?"

"Because I know Ally. She'd have been more humiliated if she'd heard it from me. And, I hoped it would hurt less if he told her. Sort of make him seem...I don't know. More honest or something, so she didn't completely doubt herself for trusting him. Loving him. Next thing, she's pregnant and they're engaged."

"How do you know he even told her?"

"One, because he's always been scared of me. Two, because Rose knew. I could see it in the way she acted with him, and then she dragged him outside. I sort of followed, and heard them. Rose yelled at him a little, told him that in her opinion, Ally should've walked away and never looked back, and if he ever did it again, she'd make his life hell. She gets kinda scary, our Rose, doesn't she?"

"Yeah." There was some pride in James' voice. "Didn't stop him though, did it?"

"No. I didn't think it would, to be honest, which is why I pulled Ally up. I know I went about it all wrong, but I was so mad at her, staying with him when he'd done that. I guess I lost it a little – but I swear, I never meant to hurt her. I just wanted to make her see what she was doing."

James nodded. "OK. Damn it. What was she thinking?"

"Not a clue. But I'm glad she's finally left him."

"Are you going to apologise for what you said to her?"

"James...She won't even stay in the room with me for longer than ten seconds. How am I supposed to explain?"

"I don't know. But you need to. She needs you."

------

Lydia was awake, too, and sat at the tiny desk in her tiny bedroom. She needed a place of her own, she thought ruefully. She'd be twenty scarily soon, and it was time to move out. She brushed her hair away from her face as she looked down at the letter. She couldn't pretend it didn't hurt, and wouldn't try to, either. How could he?

The letter was pathetically short – but weren't they all? A line here, a handful of words there, and Lysander believed he was staying in touch with his closest, oldest friends?

She'd begged. Pleaded. There'd been no need for pride; it was Zander. She'd poured her heart into her letter, telling him all about Ally, telling him how she didn't know what to do for her big sister, how she was worried. And then she begged him to come home, because she needed her friends around her. Of course, Lily was there to lean on, and Lorcan, but she'd always, always felt more secure when all three of them were with her.

And he'd refused. He wasn't coming home, even though she needed him.

Lydia screwed the piece of parchment into a tight little ball, and realised she'd never been let down quite this badly.

-------

Ally was still asleep when the doorbell went, and though it woke her she rolled over, assuming James would answer it. When it went again, she muttered under her breath as she got out of bed and pulled on a robe. The doorbell rang a third time as she walked down the stairs, annoying her enough she jerked the door open with a glare on her face.

Which faded into shock when she saw her ex-fiancé on the doorstep.


	6. Chapter 6

Big huge thanks for the reviews. You have no idea how much it motivates me.

Chapter 6

"Archie." She said his name as though hoping he'd deny it; that she was mistaken and it was simply someone who looked a lot like him. There was a part of her that wanted to slam the door in his face, even as another part of her desperately wished that he wasn't here. She didn't want to speak to him, look at him, and most certainly didn't want him in this house.

"Ally." He nodded, his expression subdued and apologetic. "I've missed you so much."

"I've been gone for a matter of days." She replied flatly. "You can't possibly have missed me that much."

He had the decency to look ashamed, Ally noted. "Yeah. Well. Can I come in?"

"Why?" She asked uncertainly. The baby kicked; a reminder that she wasn't the only one who'd been betrayed here. She didn't feel particularly angry, though, and she wondered why. Shouldn't she be glaring, swearing, throwing things at him?

"We need to talk, Ally." He said firmly.

"I've nothing to say to you." She replied coolly. "And I don't think I want to hear anything you have to say. I heard it all before, remember?"

"I know. I know, I'm sorry, Ally, really." He sighed, ran his hand through his hair. As thick as ever, she noticed, looking at the light brown locks and wishing that he'd go bald overnight. It may be petty, but she didn't care. "But we do need to talk. At the very least, we need to talk about the baby."

He had her there, Ally decided. With a sigh, she stood back and pulled the door open wider, letting him inside. He strode over to the living area, sat down. Without an invitation, Ally noted, then realised she was seizing any small flaw, and pushed the thought aside. No use in it, really. No use in hoping he'd go away and leave her alone. No use in hoping he'd go bald or his teeth would fall out. Following him, she sat on the window seat, simply because he was at the other end of the sofa, further away from her. As she'd expected, he shifted to the other end.

"There's no need to be difficult." He told her, rather like he was talking to a small child. Another thing she'd hated, she remembered. The condescending tone he used when he was displeased with her.

It was easier to focus on the things she disliked, all the reasons she was better off without him, than to think about the good things, the good times.

"But I do so enjoy it." She replied flatly. "Talk, Archie, if we're going to talk."

He hesitated for a moment, and she saw a flicker of both anger and sorrow in his dark grey eyes. His eyes had been the first thing she'd noticed, she remembered. Framed with thick, dark lashes, they jumped out at you. They'd caught her attention, all that time ago, and they were still probably the best thing about his appearance.

"OK. I want you to know, firstly, that I'm really, really sorry about – you know. The other day." He looked faintly embarrassed, and cleared his throat.

"Yes. I imagine me walking in killed the mood somewhat." She replied drily.

"That's not what I meant, Ally." He said sharply. "I'm trying to be serious here. I know what I did was wrong, and it never should have happened. I don't know why it did – I never meant it to, never planned..." He broke off, blew out a breath, and she noticed sincerity in his eyes. He really did look sorry, and that made her nervous. "But I'm not here to make excuses." He continued. "I'd never hurt you on purpose, Allison."

"What is it with everyone using my full name all of a sudden? Does it add extra drama or something?"

She knew he thought she was being awkward; but Ally was trying to distance herself, to ignore what he was saying.

"Archie," she said, very carefully, "you did hurt me, and it most certainly wasn't an accident. I doubt that hurting me was your motivation, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible to accidently -"

"I love you." He interrupted soberly. "It's taken this to make me realise just how much. You are the most important person to me, Ally, and I – I was so stupid to risk losing you like that. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, not yet, but I'm asking you to consider letting me try and earn it. To give us another chance, Ally."

She stared at him, stunned.

"I know you probably don't feel like it right now, but think about the baby, Ally. Doesn't he or she deserve a secure, safe, upbringing, with the both of us?" There was an edge of desperation in his voice, sending alarm bells ringing. She knew him, she reminded herself, knew him extremely well. Archie didn't want to be alone any more than she did.

Not the right reasons, she told herself. Bad reasons, very bad reasons, for getting back together.

"Not if he's going to keep walking in on you with your latest girlfriend, Archie." She replied quietly.

"It'll never happen again, Ally. I promise you – on my life, I'll never do it again. I'm committed, now, to both of you. Please, just think about giving us another chance, about coming home."

"It's not home, Archie. I've always hated the place, and you knew it." She murmured.

"Yes, of course. Well, we'll move. I mean it this time – you can even stay here until we find a new place, if you want. We'll start looking straight away – this afternoon if you want. You can choose the place, I – I can make any adjustments to it, if you want. I'll make you happy, Ally. You and the baby. I swear it."

"Move." She repeated, her nerve faltering. "You – you said we would move before. Told me the house was just a temporary thing. You lied."

"I didn't mean to...it just didn't seem important." He shifted, moving from the sofa to the floor in front of her. "I was so stupid, Ally. Please...please, give us another chance. I'll never take you for granted again." He took hold of both her hands.

She looked into his eyes – she loved those eyes, a part of her whispered – and she wanted to believe she saw sincerity there. Wanted to believe that she could say "yes" and nothing that came before would matter; she wouldn't feel hurt and betrayed and humiliated and unable to trust him, she wouldn't be horribly aware that she didn't love him enough to marry him and spend forever with him, wouldn't know that they were only together because neither wanted to be alone.

"I..."

The front door burst open. "Ally, are you..." James stopped his half-yell when he caught sight of them. Ally on the window seat, leaning forward slightly. Archie knelt in front of her, both her hands clutched in his.

"What's going on?" He asked, carefully trying to control the hot wave of anger.

"James." Archie struggled to his feet, squeezing Ally's hands gently before he released them. Ally's eyes flickered between the two men. Days ago, there was a part of her that badly wanted to see James hit, jinx or curse Archie. That angry part, the part focused on the dent to her pride, had wanted revenge. Now, the idea of them fighting revolted her. It wasn't what she wanted, wasn't what she needed. Wasn't worth it, she realised, and knew, suddenly, exactly what she was going to do, exactly how her immediate future would go.

"It's nice to see you again." Archie said politely, extending a hand to shake.

"James." Ally murmured. His gaze flickered to her, saw the plea in her eyes, and he knew he'd have to suppress the violence that wanted to burst out of him. Even if he did keep remembering the devastation on Ally's face as she'd told him what had happened, the shame as she'd admitted it to her mother. So he wanted Archie's blood for putting that look on her face; if she didn't want to see it, he wouldn't do it in front of her.

"I don't believe I gave you permission to enter my house, Archie." James said coolly, ignoring Archie's hand. Archie dropped his arm.

"Ally let me in. We have a few things to talk about." The message was loud and clear, James thought bitterly. _Leave us alone to talk._ And the message would be ignored.

"I'm sure you do. Get out." His last two words whipped out, heat behind them despite the mild volume and tone.

"What?" Archie faltered, looked back at Ally. With a small sigh, she stood.

"James. I do need to talk with Archie."

"About what? What could he possibly have to say to you? Is he going to take everything back? The affairs? How can he possible make it right?"

It took her a moment to pick up on the word, the plural. Then the blood drained from her face. "What? What did you say?" Her gaze flickered from Archie to James.

It took him only an instant and he closed his eyes in annoyance, then met hers. "Yeah. OK. I know about before, about the last time. And that makes it worse that you – that you're standing there considering going back to him." He was sure, sure she was going back to Archie, and it destroyed him.

"How do you know about it? The last time..." Her hands were shaking, just a little. She hadn't ever planned to tell him. Oh she'd considered it, but only last night she'd resolved that no one else had to know. That anyone knowing would strip her of the little dignity she had.

"Mitch." He snapped. "Mitch knows all about it. He was the one -"

Ally shook her head. "I can't – I can't even think about that right now." She raised a hand to her temple, where a headache was beginning. "Archie, would you mind leaving me and James to sort this out? I'll be in touch."

"Of course." He said, and briefly kissed her on the cheek.

She didn't stop him, James thought. Didn't try to stop him. The flare of jealousy went unnoticed.

As soon as the door closed behind Archie, the anger overflowed.

"What the hell are you thinking? You forgave him once, Ally, stayed with him once, and he betrayed you! How can you put yourself through that again?"

"I'm not." She said firmly. He ignored her.

"He hurt you so much. The night you turned up here, God, I've never seen that look in your eyes. I won't let you go back to him, Ally, I'll lock you in your damn bedroom if I have to. How can you think of going back – and the baby? What kind of environment would that be for the baby?"

"One with both his parents." She snapped. "But that doesn't matter, I'm not -"

"Both his parents? Are you serious?" James threw his arms up. "Damn it Ally, I'm well aware they we're the lucky ones; we have both our parents, together. But that doesn't – all this stuff about broken homes predisposing bad things, it's wrong! And, hell, sometimes it's better for the kid if it's parents aren't together. Healthier. You'll be a great mother – that kid is going to be so lucky, it doesn't need Archie. Let him be a goddamn weekend dad and be glad of it. Some parents aren't lucky enough to get that."

"James -"

"Please, Ally, please." His tactic shifted so fast she blinked; the anger was gone, replaced by pleading. "I know it's scary that you're on your own, but I'm here, I'll always be here, and I'll look after you. Both of you."

"I can't stay here." The words fell out before she'd thought them; but she knew they were true. "I had no intention of going back to Archie. There's a part of me that would love to." And she could admit it, without shame. She was done being ashamed. "But I couldn't, not after everything. And you...so convinced that I'd go running back to him...how can you think that of me?"

"I..." Shame swamped him, because there was such hurt on her face. "I didn't...I'm just scared for you, Ally..."

"I'm not going back to Archie. I'm going to go talk to him, now. Talk this out, because we're going to have a child together soon. But I'm not going back to him, James, because it's finally dawned on me that I can make it on my own. And then I'm...I'm going to my parents'. I can't stay here anymore. Not until...Not until I've figured some things out, and decided..."

"If you can forgive me." He murmured, horrified. In all the years he'd known her, all the years he'd counted her among his closest friends, they'd never been in a situation where either had to contemplate forgiveness. He'd hurt her, he thought, appalled. Hurt her worse than Mitch, worse than Archie.

"It's not a case of forgiveness." She replied softly. "It's more...if I can forget...if we can go back to how we were...I, I'll be in touch." She kissed him, lightly, on the cheek, and then walked away, grabbing her jacket on the way out.

As the door slammed behind her, he realised just why he'd been so devastated at the thought of her going back to Archie, just why he'd loved having her here, with him, just why he'd wanted to fix all her problems.

He'd got caught up in a fantasy there, certainly. He'd fix things with her and Mitch, he'd make her life easier, and they'd live happily ever after. Wasn't that how he'd seen his foreseeable future? Hadn't he, without even realising it, pictured them, living here, with a bright-eyed baby? He'd never thought about her moving out, because he hadn't wanted her to.

He was in love with her.


	7. Chapter 7

Again, mega thanks for reviews. Quick question – I think I've mentioned before that I'd like to do a Lydia-centric story in the future, and while I have some ideas for it, I'm stuck on a pairing – so, I'd like your opinion. Would Lydia be best with Lysander, Hugo, or someone else entirely?

Chapter 7

The house was the same, only messier. As Ally settled in the living room, she found herself glad that she wasn't coming back here. And, when she looked at Archie, there were no regrets. She'd been mourning what she'd lost; now she realised she'd lost nothing, really. Only moved on. She was scared – absolutely terrified. But she could manage this, she was sure. She was a Gryffindor, she reminded herself, and, in the only way that mattered, a Weasley, too. She could definitely do this.

"Archie, I'm not...we're not getting back together." She said softly. He hesitated, then sighed.

"I was afraid you'd say that." It grated, just a little, that he didn't sound altogether upset. Stupid, she supposed, but after he'd come to James' house and begged her to go back to him, she'd assumed her rejection would hurt him just a little.

Not important, she reminded herself. It didn't matter, not really.

"I'm not going to apologise for it." She said calmly. "You did an awful thing, and I can't move past that. I can't ever forgive it. But I'll put it aside, for the sake of the baby." It felt a little odd, forcing her voice to be cool, clinical. "We should maybe work some things out now. It's not long until..." Fear curled in her stomach, and she ignored it. She'd worry about the whole childbirth thing later. "Do you still want to be there, for the birth?"

He paused. "I imagine James will want to be there."

"Wh...Um, well if you don't want to...I thought I'd ask Lydia and Rose to, but I suppose James might..." She shook off her confusion, tilted her head. "Don't you want to be there, Archie?"

"I don't know. Ally, if I'm completely honest, I don't know if I can be a father."

She blinked. "Archie, it's a little late for that. In a matter of weeks, you'll have a child."

"I know. God, I know. Ally, I'm just...I need to think it through, sort myself out." There was an obvious plea in his eyes, for sympathy. She ignored it; she'd never felt less sympathetic in her life. "I'll let you know. But I can't make decisions about the baby right now."

"Fine. Let me know when you can." She stood.

"Ally, I love you." He blurted it, and looked half surprised at himself. He stood, too, looked at her pleadingly.

"No you don't. Think about it, Archie. We were never in love, not really. We had good times, a lot of them, and mostly we were content with each other. I don't doubt that you cared, and I know I did, too." Ally stepped forward, took his hand. "You know, in your heart, that you never loved me. It's better that I leave now, that we realise now, rather than...later." When it would hurt more, she thought. It sort of shamed her, really, how little she felt. She'd lived with this man, been engaged to him, and created a life with him, and it shamed her to realise she never really loved him.

"I don't know what I'll do without you." He told her, gripped her hand tighter.

"You'll move on. You'll find someone new. We didn't belong together, Archie, and you don't really want us to be together. I...You feel safe with me. It sounds crazy, but I felt safe with you, too. It's so hard to be alone."

"We shouldn't have stayed together, really, should we?" He murmured regretfully. "We wouldn't have, if not for the baby."

"No. When I found out, about the first...affair, that would have been the end, if not for the baby." And she refused to regret that, refused to regret wanting to give her child two parents. Maybe it was a mistake, but she could regret it.

"Mitch made me tell you." He blurted that, too, and looked guilty. "I've always felt bad for letting you believe I chose to tell you. I didn't. I wouldn't have done. He found out, and he made me tell you. He felt...it would hurt you less if it came from me, and he pretended to be unaware."

At least everything with Mitch made sense now, she thought. "I suppose it did." She said, though she wasn't sure, really.

"I know it makes it worse, though, really. That I had to be...forced. I'm sorry. I really am sorry, Ally. You'll never know how much."

"OK." She couldn't go there, couldn't talk about it. Maybe it would be seen as the coward's way out, but that didn't occur to Ally. She was willing to just let it all go now; she didn't have the energy or the emotion to have it out.

"There's...you left some of your things here." Archie said. "Um, some of the bigger things that you, you paid for. I...I wouldn't feel right if I kept them."

"I don't need them. I'd -" Rather have my own, she almost said, but decided he wouldn't appreciate that. They may have chosen them together, may have bought them for _their_ place, but she understood Archie, and his pride. She was learning a lot about pride lately. "I don't have anywhere to put them. I don't have a place for them."

"Oh."

"When I do, when I get a place, I could pick them up." She said quickly. "If you'd keep them until then..."

"Sure. Sure, I'll put them in the baby's...I mean, I'll put them in the spare room." Ally winced, and Archie looked uncomfortably at a spot above her head. Awkwardness settled in the room.

"I better go." Ally murmured. "I'm, um, I think I'll be at my parents' if you need to contact me."

He looked surprised. "You're not staying with James anymore? Why?"

"I just decided I'd be better at my parents." Ally said evasively. "I've imposed on him long enough."

"It's hardly an imposition, Ally." Archie smiled. "He's crazy about you."

She blinked. "I...We're close, yes, but that doesn't mean he's OK with me invading his home -"

Archie laughed. "You really don't see it, do you? I always thought you were just...trying to keep it from me. You really don't realise how the two of you feel about each other?"

She looked at him in confusion. "I know you always...suspected there was something more with us, but I told you. We're friends, close friends. We're practically family." Though it had always been different with James, she could admit. They'd always had something different, maybe something extra.

"Yeah, and I figured that's why neither of you did anything about it – because you saw each other as family and were worried how the others would react. But you really don't see it." His smile was both amused and sad. "You two are...if you're not in love, you're damn close to it."

"Don't be ridiculous." Ally was stunned, but a little part of her was suddenly, urgently, insisting that she had to leave, _now._ "I know you were always jealous of him, but this is ridiculous." She stood, flustered. "I'm leaving now."

He only smiled. "You've been in love with him all along, Ally. I could always see it." Then he paused, looked at her. "Maybe you haven't yet." He shook his head, almost laughed, then leaned forward and kissed her lightly. "No big scenes, Ally. I know you don't like them. Goodbye."

She left the building, and paused outside the gate. Breathed, and smiled.

For the first time in a long time, she felt free.

------------------------

She let herself into her parents' living area, and found Lydia in the living room, curled up on the sofa, her expression distant.

"Lydie?"

"Ally. Hey, how are you?" Lydia's voice was soft, and Ally knew there was something bothering her.

"Yeah, fine, good. What's wrong?"

Lydia shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it." She'd never denied when something was wrong with her, Ally thought, but when she didn't want to talk about something, she wouldn't.

"OK." It wasn't easy, letting it go, but it was all she could do. "If you decide, later, you want to talk about it, I'll be here. I'm, um, moving back in. Back home."

"Back...What happened? Why aren't you with James?"

With a sigh, Ally sat down and poured the whole story out.

--------------------

She lasted three days, waiting for him to get in touch. He was bound to, wasn't he? He ought to apologise. At the very least he ought to be wondering how she was.

"So go see him." Rose stretched out on the Longbottoms' sofa and looked at Ally with her isn't-it-obvious expression. Ally hated that expression, and throughout school it had caused her much irritation. There was nothing worse than asking for help and receiving _that_ look. She only put up with it because it was Rose.

"And say what? Hey, James, I've been waiting for an apology, but since you haven't bothered, let's forget about it?"

"No, you demand to know _why_ he hasn't apologised or been in contact. If you want to throw something at him, that works too."

"Throw something at him?" Ally half laughed. "I'm not mad at him. I don't need to go have a go at him."

"Sure you do. Are you a Weasley or not?"

"Um...technically..."

"Ally. Yes, you are a Weasley." Rose jumped to her feet. "C'mon, we'll go now."

Ally hesitated, then nodded. "OK. Sure. Why not?" She held out a hand so Rose could help her to her feet.

"You know, I'll be really glad when you're not pregnant anymore. It's irritating to keep hauling you to your feet." Rose teased, dragging Ally upright.

"Yeah. Love you too. Now _you_ get to help me apparate."

--------------------

She let herself into the house, of course. They weren't so far gone that she needed to knock. When she find the door locked, she simply used her key, telling Rose that she needed to pick up her things anyway, and James should be home from practice any time now.

She entered the house, breathed deeply. _It feels like coming home._ The thought intruded, and was banished. This was not her home.

She glanced around the living room, and saw, propped up on the mantelpiece, an envelope with her name on in big, bold letters. She glanced at Rose before walking over and picking it up, hesitating before opening it and unfolding the parchment.

_Ally_

_I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, and you need to understand that my reaction was not a reflection on how I think about you. It was more about me, but I'm trying to work it out. _

_The house is yours. You need it more than I do, so I've moved out and you can take the big bedroom. You've always loved it, and you need a place for you and your baby. You know you'll find no house you love as much as this, so just take it, OK? No arguments. I need to know you're happy and safe, and if that means you do decide to take Archie back, you know I'll support you. But I don't think you will, I really don't. Don't worry about letting me know you're here, I'll hear. I'll be in touch, I just need to work some stuff out first. Please don't think I have a problem with you, and please forgive me for everything that happened the other day. Remember that you're never alone, and be happy._

_All my love_

_James_

She read it through twice, then handed it to Rose.

She loved the house, every inch of it. But it wasn't hers, it was James's. And now she was aware that he wasn't here, it felt wrong.

"He never said anything to me about going anywhere." Rose said carefully. "And you know he wouldn't have gone far without telling Grandma, or Aunt Ginny or Lily, and if he'd told them, I'd've heard about it. He'll just be at a friends' or something, Ally."

"He knew I was coming back for my things. He knew I'd be back here. And he didn't want to be here to tell me this himself? Why?"

"Ally, don't read too much into it." Rose's voice was still careful. "You and James have always been close. He's been worried about you, more than he let you see. He probably just needed a break..."

Ally nodded, though she didn't believe it for a second. Telling herself not to think about it, she looked around the room again. "I can't take the house, though, can I?"

"Of course you can. It's what he wants, and it makes sense. Everything he said – wrote – makes sense. Take the house, Ally. You know you want to."

What was the point, she wondered, in arguing? "It's going to be weird, living alone. I...I've never lived alone before." She looked back at Rose. "Not once. Moved out of my parents in with you, then in with Archie. I should have tried living alone for a while, shouldn't I?"

"There was never any reason for you to live alone." Rose said firmly. "And we really wanted to get a place together, remember? Neither of us wanted to live alone."

"But you did. Once I moved in with Archie, you lived alone."

"Only till Lorcan moved in." Rose shrugged. "You'll be fine, Ally. But...I can stay here with you awhile, if you want."

She was tempted to say yes, almost did. Instead, she shook her head. "No. I'm twenty-two. It's time I learned to live alone, to...to depend on myself, instead of being dependent on others."

Rose didn't say anything, simply looked back down at James' letter.

--------------

James was laid out on a bed that wasn't his, staring at a ceiling. Stupid, he told himself. Stupid to hurt her like that, just because he was scared of losing her. Stupid to run out and hide from her, because he didn't want her rejection. Why couldn't he have realised this before, he asked himself, before she was pregnant and betrayed?

The last thing she needed now, he told himself firmly, was him declaring love, and offering marriage and a lifetime together.

Because that's what he wanted. What he'd always wanted. James Potter had had three goals for as long as he could remember – to play Quidditch professionally, to marry someone he loved, and adopt five or six kids from Phoenix House. That had always been his dream – the perfect career and family. Now he'd found the person he loved (more than anything, anyone, life itself and why had he never realised it before?) it was hard to convince himself why he shouldn't go to Ally, tell her, and marry her.

She might love him too, a little voice persisted. And shouldn't he find out? Shouldn't he try to –

"No." James muttered aloud. "It's the last thing she needs now."

He'd wait. He'd give her time that she needed, time to sort herself out, time to get used to being herself again. And then, then he'd go about convincing her they belonged together.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

She hadn't done bad, really, Ally mused. As first nights go, she felt she'd done pretty well. Sure, she'd managed around three hours sleep, and sure she'd jumped at every little noise and left almost every light in the house on. But she hadn't bailed.

When the doorbell rang, she guessed it would be Lydia or Rose checking on her, but wasn't surprised to see Lily and Scorpius on the doorstep. They still looked perfect together, she mused, and still so very _together_, even after almost a year or marriage. One of the Weasleys' big success stories, she thought, only half envious, and the one Molly liked to brag about most.

Ally didn't want to know what Molly thought of _her_ current situation. Not fair, she told herself. She always had Molly's love and support, always been treated like a granddaughter, and she always would.

Couldn't give her baby a father, Ally thought, but she could give he or she the best great-grandmother possible.

"Ally." Scorpius hugged her the second the door was open, without hesitation or awkwardness. He'd become Albus's friend towards the end of their first term at Hogwarts, and she and Rose had pitied the bullied boy enough to accept him. By their second year, he was their best friend, too.

So she hugged him back, taking comfort. And she refused to acknowledge that it wasn't _him_ she wanted, wasn't his arms or comfort she craved. That sort of thinking was a part of the old, weak Ally, after all. Not the new, capable, soon-to-be-a-single-mother Ally, who'd emerged at around four in the morning. The second Scorpius released her, Lily enveloped her in a fierce hug.

"Me and Lydia talked about burning his house down, but we didn't think you'd appreciate it." Lily murmured. It took Ally a moment to realise they were talking about Archie, and not James; it was the latter's abandonment that had been on her mind all night.

"I don't even care about him anymore." Ally shrugged as they broke apart. "I think that's the saddest thing of all. I don't feel anything for him."

"Well, good riddance." Scorpius shrugged, as Ally stepped back to let them both in the house. "He'd never have been accepted into the family, really."

"As someone who was accepted into the family, he knows." Lily nodded. "I guess it sounds empty now, but we never thought he was good enough for you. Now, onto my brother." Anger flashed into Lily's eyes. "I could kill him for disappearing when you need him. What's he playing at?"

"It's fine. I'm fine." Ally shrugged, settling down on the sofa. "I survived my first night living alone. And I've decided that I can survive the rest of them, too. I'm a big girl now, and I can learn how to stand on my own." Absently, she rubbed circles on her stomach. "I'm going to be a mother soon. Time to grow up."

"You're always so hard on yourself." Lily sighed. There were words that Lydia had often uttered, and Ally wondered if maybe Lily had been told to say them. "No one else thinks as little of you as you do."

Ally shrugged. "Maybe they're just too used to me."

"Ally." Scorpius cut in. "Stop it. You're the only one who didn't think you could manage this alone. It's nice to know you've reached the same conclusion we did."

Ally shrugged again, unwilling to argue. "Do you guys want a drink or anything?"

"I'll do it." Scorpius said, standing and heading to the kitchen before Ally could protest.

"Now," Lily said, crossing her legs, "Rose said you were pretty upset when you found out James had gone."

"Shocked. I was shocked." Ally corrected. "I'd expected him to always be here, and he wasn't. But in the end, it was good. I was relying on him too much. Maybe I always have."

"Ally. Friends are there to rely on. God knows I've leaned on Lydie before." Lily said flatly. "Hasn't he even been in touch?"

"No. But he'll know I'm back. Where ever he is, he'll have heard." Ally shrugged. "I'm not going to get upset that he hasn't come running. Being alone for a while will be good for me." And she meant that, was sure of it. She had to prove to herself, didn't she, that she could stand alone?

"Uh-huh."

"Anyway, let's talk about you. I've barely spoken to you properly for ages. Months, I think. Last time we had a good, long talk, we were discussing your wedding, so it must have been a while ago." She refused to feel guilty about that. She'd been too caught up in her engagement and pregnancy to carve out time for Lily, or much of the rest of the family. It was something she regretted, certainly, but she wouldn't feel guilty.

Ally smiled as Lily, her sister's best friend, the girl who'd always been a mixture of cousin and little sister, smiled almost shyly. She'd been married for almost a year, now, and was still, as far as Ally could tell, happy.

What was that like, she wondered, to have been with someone since the age of fifteen? To be with someone who knew you so well they could almost read your mind? To know were loved so much?

Don't need it, she told herself.

"Nothing much's been happening with me." Lily shrugged. "The house is finished, completely, so I don't have anything much to talk about anymore."

"You didn't talk about the house that much." Ally replied loyally, causing Lily to smirk.

"Yeah, I did. But it's OK because I love the place. You have to love the place you live, don't you?"

Ally thought of the house she'd lived in with Archie, and the house she was in now. "Yes. Yes, you do."

"Exactly. I half want to have a party to show it off, but then I worry that something'll get broken, or..."

"It'll be destroyed somehow."

"Yeah. It's crazy, I know. But still." Lily smiled, and Ally thought, with pride, that little Lily Potter was all grown up.

"Anything else going on with you?" Ally persisted, desperate to avoid silence.

"Not really. I'm not talking to Lysander again."

"Why this time? Or is it still because he hasn't come home?"

"I never forgave him for leaving in the first place." Lily replied. "Three weeks after my wedding he just takes off. Barely a goodbye. No hint to anyone that he was even thinking about it, then he just announces he wants to see the world, and disappears a day later." Ally nodded, remembering. It had been a shock to everyone, and she wasn't sure she could ever completely forgive him for putting that look of stunned devastation in Lydia's eyes.

"And he thinks a postcard, or a letter, every once in awhile, that pretty much just tells us he's alive, makes up for not coming back? He never explained it, just _left. _But I'm not talking – or that should be, writing back – to him, because Lydia wrote him to tell him what was going on with you, and ask him to come back for a bit -"

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Because she needs him." Lily shrugged. "She doesn't know what to do for you, and she wants one of her best friends to come home, just for a week or two, and be there for her, and for you. That's completely natural and understandable, and to be honest if she hadn't done it, I would. This is what we do. In crisis, we gather. And you know what he replies?"

"What?"

"That he can't come home yet, but he sends his love. That's it. I've seen the letter – it's just that one line. _Sorry, Lydia, I can't come home yet. Love to Ally, you, and the rest of the family._ Can you believe that?"

"No." And she couldn't understand it either. "I would've thought he'd come back for Lydia if she needed him. You lot have always been really close."

"I know. So I'm going to ignore him for a while – not that he'll notice, being all the way in Mexico or wherever it is now – then I'll get angry enough to write to him and bitch. It's how we've been working this past year." And by the look on her face, Lily didn't appreciate it.

"I remember. What was it last time?"

"He missed Grandma's birthday." Lily replied. "I know we didn't have a party or anything, but she's the only Grandma he's got, and he couldn't even drop by on her birthday? I swear, he misses Christmas and I'll hunt him down myself."

Ally nodded, and wondered how well Molly was coping with one of her grandkids – albeit an honorary one - out of her reach. "I'm sure he'll be home soon." And, Ally decided, he'd probably face loving hostility when he did.

-------

_One week later._

"I know you think it makes sense, Lydie, but it _doesn't._" Lily said flatly as she and Lydia walked up the path to the house. "I admit there's something there between them, but not _that_ much." And wasn't it just Lydia to read too much into it?

"Just think about it. Think back. It does make sense." Lydia spoke lightly, but she was stubborn underneath it. She'd decided the night before that it was time her sister and James stopped being so stupid and finally got together, and - fuelled by her annoyance at Zander, her disgust of Archie, and her irritation at James – she'd decided the night before that she was through standing by and waiting for them to do it themselves.

"Well, we'll see, shall we?" Lily replied, clearly unconvinced.

"There's no point asking her, she doesn't realise it." Lydia muttered as she rang the doorbell. Compromise, she thought, was a bitch. Still, she'd agreed.

"Uh-huh. Let's ask anyway, though, before we go along with your crazy plans."Ally opened the door a second after Lily finished talking. She looked, Lydia decided after a quick survey, OK. Had looked OK all week. But there was no sparkle anymore, and Lydia wouldn't stand for it.

"Hi."Ally managed a smile, stepped back to let them in. She wasn't sure which bothered her more – the silence of the house when she was alone in it, or the way the family kept dropping by with concern in their eyes. Or the fact that James still hadn't been in touch.

"Don't sound too pleased, then." Lily muttered.

"Sorry. I thought...Never mind."

"I haven't seen him either, Ally." Lily said quietly. "He's been to see Grandma, but he wouldn't tell her where he was staying."

No one questioned who she was talking about, and Ally wondered if she was that transparent. "Well. I guess he knows better than to avoid Grandma." And it was so very James to make sure she knew he was safe. And so very not James to avoid her so completely. "I'd've thought he'd be in touch by now. But never mind." She said, careful to keep her voice and expression light and unconcerned.

"How're you doing?" Lydia asked quietly.

"Fine." Ally said, half smiling. "I really mean it. I told you, living alone would be good for me, and it has been. I can do it, Lydie. I've lived alone for a week, and I know I can do it for the rest of my life if I need to."

She was glowing with pride, Lydia thought, and smiled back. "I knew you could." But it was great to see Ally like this.

"Ally, I need to ask you something," Lily said, shooting Lydia a don't-say-anything look. "It's going to sound a little weird, but, um...Well, Lydia's pretty convinced..." She hesitated, deciding how to phrase it. "How do you feel about James?"

Ally blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Ally, I have this theory." Lydia told her. "Had it for a while, actually. I think you and James...I think you're in love with each other."

There was a moment of silence before Ally smiled slightly. Her little sister was still young, Ally thought, and hadn't lost that innocent outlook on life. And while maybe, at nineteen, it was time Lydia lost that naiveté, Ally refused to be the one to destroy it, so chose her words carefully. "Lydie, I...James is very important to me, and I love him, a lot. But not like you mean. I'm not in love with him, sweetie."

"Ally, just think about it for a minute -" Lydia began, but Ally shook her head. There was something in her mind, almost yelling that she wouldn't, couldn't think about it, couldn't consider it, and a sudden tightening in her chest.

"I know you like to think that that's the way the world works, but, honey, you can't just assume people are in love with each other. I'm sure you think me and James would work well as a couple, and that I'd be...safe, with him. But it's not like that with us. That's just not how life works."

"Uh-huh." Lydia had always been able to read people's feelings easy, and her sister's eyes were wide, half-fearful. She spoke to without looking away from her sister. "Lily, tell me, who realised you were in love with Scorpius first – me or you?"

"You did." Lily replied dutifully.

"And, tell me, weren't you in denial for a little while? Unaware of how strong your feelings were?"

"Yes." Lily replied, with an apologetic look at Ally.

Lydia nodded. "Ally, I've known you my whole life. And I think you and James have been in love for a lot of years, without realising. Think it through, please."

"Lydie." Ally sighed it.

"Try this." She almost stopped pushing, because there was more, in Ally's eyes now. Something close to pain was shimmering in them. "Can you picture yourself with him, in a relationship?"

"Yes." The word seemed to fall out, and then Ally slammed her mouth shut. "I – I mean...well, we've already – when we were younger – I -"

"Ally." It was Lily who gently covered Ally's hand with her own, and Lily who looked at her with concern. "Ally, it's OK."

Ally felt almost as if someone had slapped her. The tightening in her chest had increased, and images were flashing in her mind.

"Oh, God." Ally drew her hand away, pushed to her feet. "Oh my God. What – how stupid am I? What is _wrong_ with me?"

"Ally." Lydia stood, too, and circled her arms around Ally's waist as far as she could manage. "This is a good thing, Ally. I've been waiting ages for you to realise this. It'll work out. We'll get in contact with James, and once you're together everything -"

"Together?" Ally's face was pale, but her voice was sharp. "Don't be so damn _childish_, Lydie. I'm like a younger sister to him. He'll never love me back." She pulled away, stormed into the kitchen. When Lydia started forward, Lily grabbed her hand.

"No. I'll go. She doesn't want to see you right now. And I, I sort of get what she's thinking right now."

Lydia hesitated, and though it hurt, she nodded. Lily walked into the kitchen. Ally was stood by the sink, splashing cold water over her face.

"Ally? Are you OK?"

"No." Ally snapped it, in a way she rarely did. "I am not _OK_, Lily. I'm a complete idiot. The best of it is, I see it now. It's been there for – I don't even know how long. Archie saw it, too, and I thought he was just being paranoid. But now I see it, and I know, and before – how could I not have realised? How stupid am I?"

"Stop saying that. You're not stupid." The command was sharp, but she softened her voice as she continued. "I know what it's like. I know how it feels, Ally."

"It hurts." Ally murmured. "A minute ago I wasn't even aware. So why does it hurt so much, Lily, to know he'll never love me like that?"

Lily didn't speak, only crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her.


	9. Chapter 9

Big thanks for reviews. Meant to update earlier but stuff got in the way.

Chapter 9

"I think he's in love with you, too." Lydia's voice was quiet. She stood in the kitchen doorway, watching her sister and best friend embrace. "I know you don't, Ally, but, well, twenty minutes ago you didn't think you were in love with him. It's there, Ally. I think it's been there since you were together. When you were younger? I know it didn't work out, but since then..."

"Lydie. Thinks can't always work out like the fairy tales." Ally said softly, then jumped when Lydia snorted.

"Fairy tales? I haven't bought into _fairy tales_ since I was six, Ally. Jeez, you wait around for a guy to save you, you gotta be prepared to wait a long while."

"S'true." Lily nodded solemnly. "Look at Sleeping Beauty."

Ally half laughed, then lowered her head.

"Let us talk to him." Lydie persisted softly. "I can make him realise it, too. Then you can sort it out -"

"Lydie, please. Don't." Ally murmured, then closed her eyes as they filled with tears. "It's such a mess. This isn't how it was supposed to be." The tears started to slide down her face. "I was supposed to be getting married, having a baby, living happily ever after. Not bringing up a child on my own, in love with a friend who doesn't feel the same. How could I have messed it up so badly without even trying?"

"It wasn't you, Ally. You haven't done anything. Please don't blame yourself." Lily murmured.

Silently, Lydia moved forward. Between them, she and Lily guided Ally to the living room. She sat on the sofa, and when Ally looked at them, Lydia almost took a step backwards. Her sister looked young, vulnerable, and devastated.

Her instinct was to soothe. It actually settled in her head, effortlessly, that she'd sit here, holding Ally while she cried it out, comforting until she fell asleep. Then she'd get what she needed from home, and move in here until Ally didn't need her any more.

Then a different idea occurred to her, and with grim satisfaction, she knew it was the better plan. She jerked her head slightly, a long-time signal, and strode across the room, hovering by the staircase. A few seconds later, Lily followed.

"Listen, you do what you can to calm her down, stop her crying." Lydia whispered.

"Lydie, she looks so broken. I think it's only just hit her, you know. She didn't just lose a fiancé, she lost a future, the life they would have had. And she's still struggling to understand her feelings for James." Lily was struggling to understand it herself, really.

"I know. Do what you can. I'm going to send a message to Mitch, and get him over here."

Lily blinked at her. "Mitch? Why?"

"Because me and you are going to find James, and we're not leaving Ally alone. And it's about time he fixed this, and acted like her brother again. I'm going to get Ally back to normal if it kills me."

Lily nodded. "Tell him to hurry."

------------

Mitch was not pleased to be ordered over to the house. Lydia figured he only came over to tell her off for it. She opened the door, her finger to her lips.

"Wake her up and I'll break your neck." Somehow, she managed to make her tone both pleasant and threatening.

Mitch glared, but kept his voice low. "Since when do _you_ order me about?"

"Since you started acting like a complete idiot." Lydia snapped. "So your whole life, I guess. Listen, Ally's asleep. She cried herself out -"

"Cried – is she OK?" Because he looked truly concerned, Lydia softened.

"Yeah. It just got a little too much for her, and, well, hormones, I guess. Lily and I need to be somewhere – really need, otherwise I wouldn't leave her – so you're going to stay with her."

"Me?" He hissed, stunned. "I'm the _last_ person she wants to see -"

"Which is why you need to fix this, now. For God's sake Mitch, she's having that baby in a matter of weeks. Less! Jeez she's practically due. You guys are going to fix this before that kid comes into the world. Sort it out."

She turned, gestured to Lily, who walked towards them. "You ready?"

"Yeah." Lily murmured. "Hey, Mitch."

"Hey, Lily. How's it going?"

"Fine. Bout you?"

"It doesn't matter." Lydia cut in, as Mitch opened his mouth. "We have to go, _now._" She grabbed Lily's hand. "We'll probably be back here, Mitch – or someone will." She rose to her tiptoes, kissed his cheek over-dramatically. "Love ya." Then she pulled Lily out of the house.

Mitch sighed a little, then walked into the living area.

---------------------

"You're sure he'll be here?" Lydia asked, as they stopped outside a building.

"Yes. I know him, and I know Al. I can't believe it didn't occur to me before." Lily replied.

"You weren't really trying to figure out where he was." Lydia pointed out. "Not properly. And you were mad. You can never think straight when you're mad."

Lily only nodded. Together, they entered the building, and started to climb the stairs. They stopped on the second floor, and strode down the hallway, then stopped outside a door; Lily grabbed the handle and pushed the door open.

It was a tidy place; she'd expect nothing less from Albus. It was a small place, too, the door opening to a living area – the furniture minimal – and the tiny kitchen area was in the other corner. She could see, from here, the doors leading to both bedrooms, and the bathroom. She'd spent a lot of time here when Scorpius had been Al's roommate, and knew it well. She also knew that the plate, still bearing crumbs, sitting on the kitchen counter wasn't Al's, nor were the trainers by the door, or the jacket on the back of the sofa. Al was a neat-freak.

James, on the other hand, was not.

"James Sirius Potter, don't you _dare_ hide in that bathroom." Lily yelled, slamming the door behind her. A moment later, he walked out of the bathroom, looking sheepish.

"I wasn't _hiding_." He lied. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Because I got the brains in the family." Lily snapped. "And if I needed anymore confirmation, the mess you've created would give it." James glanced around the room, and figured he ought to tidy up before Albus got home. "I don't _believe_ you, James. Hiding out here, not telling anyone where you are. Not even checking on Ally -"

"I made sure she was OK." He interrupted. "I've sent Al over there loads of times -"

"She needed you!" Lily cried. Lydia, unconcerned, moved over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. "You abandoned here!" All her anger was out, now; her annoyance that he'd left Ally, that he hadn't been in touch with her, and that he'd been hiding out here, with Al, and she'd been left out of the secret. Maybe the last one was somewhat childish, but it still annoyed her.

"She really, really doesn't want me around right now." James replied loudly. "I hurt her, and I don't want to be another complication in her life."

"_Complication_? You're _supposed_ to be one of her best friends!"

Lydia watched them yell as each other, sipping juice, unconcerned by the screeching. She had siblings, after all.

"Yeah. Well. I complicated things, didn't I? Besides, she's already chosen, hasn't she?" He was still yelling, but there was something else in his tone. "She's realised she can be a great single parent, and that's what she's going to do. She doesn't need me."

"Need you? It's not about _need_ James. She wants you around, you moron. And what's this about her having chosen? Chosen what? To be on her own? And what was her other choice, huh? You never presented _yourself_ as a goddamn option!"

He opened his mouth, then closed it. The anger vanished off his face. "Yeah, well. Didn't realise it till it was too late, did I?" He sighed, rubbed a hand over his face. "She'd already...gone."

It was only then that Lily looked at him properly, and her anger disappeared. His eyes were shadowed; evidently he hadn't been sleeping well. He'd neglected to shave, and she was sure he looked pale; contrasting enough to make him look slightly ill. And under it all was misery.

"Aw, you idiot." She murmured, her tone concerned, and moved forward to embrace him.

"Finally dawned on you, then?" Lydia asked lightly, now that the screaming match was done. "That you love my sister?"

"Yeah." James replied, over the top of Lily's head, and didn't bother to wonder how Lydia knew. She always knew. "The idea of her going back to him...I knew I wanted her stay there, with me. And then, when she'd left...I realised what I'd done. Gone and fallen in love with her."

"You've been in love with her since you were about sixteen, James." Lydia replied.

He released Lily, turned to look at Lydia. "Don't be ridiculous. No one's really in love at sixteen."

"I was." Lily replied indignantly.

"OK, fair enough. But that's _rare_, Lily." He turned back to Lydia. "What makes you think..."

"She thought it at the time, too." Lily shrugged, sitting on the sofa. "Was devastated when you split up."

"See, the thing is, James," Lydia moved to sit beside Lily, "when you and Ally became a couple, when you were innocent little teenagers," – he snorted at the word innocent, and she grinned at him – "I think you fell in love – properly. But it's scary, when you're that age. See, Lily's first instinct, when she realised she loved Scorpius, was to end it and run. I talked her out of it, of course, but that was still her first thought. Not ready for it, need to escape. I figure you felt the same."

"It wasn't like that." He sat in the chair opposite them. "There wasn't a big break up scene. We didn't even argue. We just decided we didn't work well as a couple."

"That was the excuse. She brought it up, didn't she? I remember her telling me. She said things had been easier, simpler, when you were just friends, and you agreed. You both took whatever excuse you could to escape."

"You hadn't been going perfect before that, James." Lily told him. "I remember. You were bickering – I'd never seen you guys bicker before. You weren't getting on, and I guess you figured it was because you'd complicated things."

"Yeah." He nodded, remembering. "We did. We'd got to the point where we were scared we end up hating each other -"

"You were scared because you loved each other." Lydia told him gently. "And that made you bicker, stopped you getting on, and so you took the excuse and bailed. I'm not blaming you for it. Neither of you were ready. But now you are."

"She...she's not..."

"We came here from Ally's." Lily told him. "She was pretty upset, because about an hour earlier, she'd realised that she is, in fact, in love with you. She was pretty broken up about it, James. She's lost everything."

"She hasn't lost anything." James replied. "Except Archie, and that was doomed to begin with."

"Yeah, and then _you_ ran out on her." The flare of anger on his little sister's face had him nearly wincing.

"I know."

"Which was the stupidest thing you've ever done, and -"

"I know, you're right, always right, and you're the best little sister ever." He said desperately. Lily blinked, then fought a smile.

"You think _that_ will get round me?"

"I'm counting on it." He said winningly. "I never meant to hurt Ally. I figured if I was around her, I'd end up telling her how I feel and, well, I didn't want to upset her or, or damage things between us. I was going to wait..."

"She feels like she's lost you." Lydia told him.

"She hasn't. She never could."

"Yeah? Well why are you sat here talking to us? Get over there, and show her what she has." Lydia leaned back and looked at him. He nodded.

"OK. I – Is she at home? I mean -?"

"At your house. Yes." Lydia hesitated. "James...just what do you...what do you plan to happen, with you and Ally?"

"I...Whatever she wants. I won't...push her into anything."

"OK. Good. I just had to...check."

"OK. I'll – I'll get over there, we can talk, and -"

"And we're going to sort you out, first." Lily decided. "You look a mess, big brother."

"Ten minutes, tops." Lydia promised him. "Besides, Mitch is over there. They need time to fix things."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

When Ally awoke, the first thing she noticed was the rawness of her throat. The second was her brother, watching her. She flushed, and sat up.

"What're you doing here? Where's Lydia?"

He shrugged. "She and Lily had to be someplace. She's, uh, forcing us to work things out."

"Oh. Right." Awkwardness settled over her like a blanket. "That's...so very Lydia."

"I know. It, um, hasn't been easy for her. In the middle." Mitch shrugged uneasily. He'd always hated awkwardness, but it was because they both felt awkward that he was determined to sort things out. It wasn't right, being like this around his sister, and he wouldn't stand for it anymore.

"I know." Then she looked up at him, annoyance and hurt in her eyes. "I was waiting for you to apologise."

"You wouldn't stay in a room with me for a full minute, Ally, how was I supposed to?"

She hesitated at that, then shook her head. "You could have found a way. We've done this before, fallen out, stopped talking, avoided each other, and I've always managed to apologise to you. Even when it wasn't my fault."

"I know." He sighed it. If he was honest, he'd expected it to go that way this time, too.

"It was your fault this time." She said, almost as if she knew what he was thinking.

"I know." He hated apologising. Really hated it. But he'd missed her – not that he'd ever say that aloud – and he knew what he had to do. "I'm sorry, Ally. I really am. You have to understand that I was trying to protect you – I knew about, before, Archie's..."

"I know. He, um, told me. He said you forced him to confess..."

"Yeah, and then you stayed with him and I was so mad at you for it, and so worried about you, and I guess I lost it a little. I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." But that was a lie, and he knew as soon as he said it. "Maybe I did." He murmured. "Maybe I thought that was the only way...I don't know what I thought, Ally."

She'd listened in silence, and now she toyed with her hair. All she'd wanted was an apology, and now she had it. It just didn't feel like enough.

"Why, though?" She said softly. "Why have we spent years doing this little routine? Bickering, arguing, falling out and not speaking, making up...We never really got on."

"Sometimes we did."

"Not often. Not for very long."

"I resented you." He blurted it, then covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes wide with shock. It was almost comical. "I'm sorry, I didn't – jeez, I don't know where that came from. I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did." She shifted, looked at him curiously. Not hurt, he noted, but curious. "Why did you resent me, Mitch?"

"Not just you. Lydie, too." He said awkwardly. He felt, suddenly, like a little boy being reprimanded. "I mean – that sounded awful. It wasn't a – a constant thing or anything. Just every now and then...and it's stupid, really stupid, you didn't deserve it -"

"Mitch. C'mon. Let's talk this out."

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, shifted in his seat. And looked, Ally thought with mild amusement, like a little boy in trouble.

"OK. OK. You're not allowed to hate me for this." He told her, in the same tone he'd used when they were younger. _You're not allowed to come with me. You're not allowed to play. You're not allowed to tell anyone that. You're not allowed in my room. You're not allowed to touch my things._ That familiarity of it made her smile."You asked. You, ah, remember when Lydia was born?"

"Not really." She said, tilting her head. "I was, what, three? I sort of remember her being there one day, and everyone being happy and stuff."

"Dad was home. He took time off, so he was there. A full year, starting a month or so before the birth."

"He did that with me and you, too. I remember mum telling me. I think I remember, that year, him being at home."

"I was four." He said. "Almost five, when Lydia was born. I remember him coming home. I guess you remember, after that, the way he'd be away a lot. Most of the week?"

"Yeah. Come home for weekends, sometimes for a few hours at night." Sometimes, she'd wished for a dad that was around _all_ the time, Ally remembered, but she'd always known Neville was doing his best.

"He'd miss some weekends, too." Mitch murmured. "Anyway, I remember how great I thought it was, having him home, all the time, every day. I guess I was little enough to forget about before, forget that he had a job. Then, he went back."

"You were six. I was almost five." She remembered it, too. The anger and upset, her father's quiet explanations, his promises of being home soon, really soon, her mother's soothing words and hugs. "It was hard. I remember how much we wanted him to stay."

"Kids." He shrugged a shoulder. "Didn't really understand why he had to leave. I, um, I got kind of upset. Well, I had a tantrum, really."

"You were good at those." She smirked.

"Yeah." He half laughed. "Well, Dad took me aside. Told me how he had to go back to work, but he'd be home soon. All the usual. I, um, I started saying how maybe I could go with him. Stupid, I know, but I _was_ barely six. I figured, you know, I'd stay at Hogwarts with him, come home with him, it'd be cool. Well, obviously that was pretty much impossible. He talked me out of it, then, ah, he said how I had to stay home. That I had to look after you and Lydia, that it was my job."

"Oh." She was starting to understand.

"I guess I started thinking if not for you and Lyd, I'd've been able to go with him. And, well. I was a brat. Maybe you remember. Sometimes I was so awful to you – I'd usually feel bad about it afterwards, but I couldn't help myself."

"You were a little boy." She murmured. "And you thought you were losing your dad. There...there was always the fear that he wouldn't come back."

Mitch nodded. "Wasn't his fault. Now I know that if I'd ever talked to him about it...but I didn't. And I took it out on you. Even when we were older, and I knew it was stupid...I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, Ally."

"Sometimes...I'd deliberately annoy you." She said quietly. "It used to drive me crazy, how inconsistent you were. So sometimes, I'd wind you up, I'd say things or do things. I figured at least then I'd know _why_ you were so mad at me."

He smirked, shaking his head. "And you let everyone believe you were _nice_. Devious, Ally Longbottom. That's what you are."

"I know." Delighted, she grinned at him. The awkwardness was gone – and wasn't it easy, after all, so easy to fix things? "But you love me anyway."

"I do." His smile faded into seriousness. "You need to know that, 'kay? I know I was a brat, and I resented you, and we, well, we didn't always get along, but I always...It's just not something a guy says to his sister."

She smiled wider at his discomfort. "I know. And, back at you. It's OK. I understand. One question, though. You resented me, _and_ Lydie, right? How come you didn't argue with her? Or not so often."

"Huh. Ever try to argue with her? The kid's impossible. And she doesn't hold grudges, neither, so even if I did make her mad enough to argue with me, she'd forgive and forget instantly. Besides, she...well, she's so much younger than me, and..."

"So _young_. She always seems so young." Ally murmured.

"Exactly." He shifted again.

"I missed you." She said it quietly, avoiding his gaze. "I didn't think I would. But I hated it, and hated not knowing if we'd ever get back to normal."

"I'm sorry." He said again. He'd probably said it, she mused, more times in this conversation than he ever had in his life.

"You need to stop apologising now." She told him, smirking. "I want the old Mitch back." He grinned at her, then sobered again.

"Ally...the stuff I said, at the party, I didn't mean it."

"It was true. It was all true."

"No. Not really. And I had no right to say it like that, to throw it at you. I'm sor -"

"It's over, it's done." She interrupted, because it didn't matter anymore. She'd forgiven him, she even understood him better. "Please. I want to forget it now."

"OK. So, how's my nephew or neice doing?"

--------------------

"You're not coming in with me." James glared at his sister and Lydia. They were outside his house. "I'm not having an audience."

"'Course you are." Lily said brightly. "We get to see how this ends."

"'Sides, Mitch is in there, still." Lydia said, then narrowed her eyes at the house. "At least, he better be."

With a sigh, James started towards the house. He opened the door, and was met with noise.

"You can't have it now, Ally, you _can't._" Mitch's voice was high, panicked, and he was stood by the sofa, dancing about.

"Well tough 'cause I am!" Ally snapped back. "Do something useful, will you?"

"What the hell's going on?" James pitched his voice above theirs, and surprised them both into silence.

"Ally reckons she's in labour." Mitch said, his voice desperate. "But she can't be. Tell her she can't be."

"Mitch, honey, why don't you sit down." Lydia kept all amusement from her voice as she crossed to her brother and pushed him into a chair. "You just breathe a little, OK?" She grinned at Lily before looking at Ally, who was looking at James, who was stood, frozen.

"Now?" He croaked. Ally nodded.

"Now. I can't do this." She looked at him, at Lydia, at Lily. "How am I supposed to do this?"

"Hey, darling." James was by her side in seconds, crouched beside her and clutching her hand. "You can do this. You're one of the strongest people I know. And I know lots of people. C'mon, darling, breathe for me."

"Well, the kid's got lousy timing." Lily commented, keeping her voice calm to hide her own panic.

"Rose." Ally said, looking desperately at Lily. "I, I promised I'd – she said she wanted to be here -"

"I'm on it. Relax." Lily squeezed her shoulder before leaving the room.

"Ally, I'm sorry I left." James murmured. "I'm sorry if it hurt you. I'll explain it all later, once -"

"James. Not the time." Lydia muttered, sitting on the arm of Ally's sofa and stroking her hair.

"Don't leave." Ally's hand clutched James like a vice. There was fear and pain on her face, her eyes wide with it as they met his. "Don't leave me."

"I won't. I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

Fast update, because there's only one chapter left after this, and since I've got it already written, there didn't seem much point in waiting. Thanks a lot for reviewing, and I'd love to hear thoughts on this.

Chapter 11

"He's so tiny." Lydia's voice could only be described as a coo. "Look at him. Look at his _fingers_. They're _tiny_."

"So cute." Lily sighed. "Isn't he cute?"

"Sure is." Rose refused to look up. She was holding the baby, and knew that the second her eyes met anyone else's, she'd be forced to pass him over.

"Don't get any ideas." James said swiftly, looking at Lily. "You and Scorpius are too young for kids."

Lily looked up at him, blinked, and gave herself a brief moment to decide whether to be annoyed or amused. She went with the latter because her overall mood was light. More than light. The atmosphere in the room made her doubt any of them would ever feel low again. "'Kay. Thanks for reminding me." She smirked at him, then fixed her gaze on her cousin. "Rose, I want the baby."

Ally watched them, her eyes trained on the bundle that was her son. _Her son._

"Mum and Dad are on their way?" She asked quietly. Mitch, beside her, nodded. "You should probably sleep." He murmured. She shook her head. She felt exhausted, but no. No sleep, not yet. She wouldn't miss the first few hours of her son's life, no matter how tired she felt. "Don't you wanna hold your nephew?" She asked him, smiling slightly.

"I...I might hurt him. He's tiny." Mitch looked half embarrassed, and Ally grinned at him. Later, she'd force him to hold his nephew and get over the fear. But for now, she could let it go.

"OK. We'll talk about that later." She looked over in time to see James take her son from Lily. He gazed down with such awe she had to look away. Deal with it later, she reminded herself.

-------------

"Hey."

The first thing Ally saw when she opened her eyes was James in the doorway. She was in her bed, she realise after a long moment. "The – the baby?"

"Downstairs. With you mother. He's fine, he's sleeping." He crossed the room, brushed at her hair. "You look better."

"Thanks." She murmured, then smiled. "James. I have a son." Her eyes were alight, her face glowing, and he wondered why it had taken him so long to realise how he felt. He was drowning in love for her.

"A great son." He lifted a finger. "Grip like a vise." Then, grinning, he turned his hand, showed her deep marks where her nails had dug into him. "Just like his mother."

She flushed, but smirked. "I'm sorry, I guess." He'd been right beside her, all the way, letting her crush his hand, his other arm tight around her, encouraging her. How could she _not_ love him? "Is, um, everyone still...?"

"Just your parents, Lydie and Mitch. Lily and Rose took a million pictures which are, even now, being circulated around the family. But Lydia was adamant that no one bother you for a while, so I don't think you'll get visitors till tomorrow."

"Right. OK." There was no awkwardness, which relieved her impossibly. Nothing had changed, even though she now knew how she really felt.

"You, ah, made things up with Mitch?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "We're better than we've ever been, I think. There was some stuff...well, it's all worked out now."

"Ally, I, um, I really am sorry I – well, I guess I sort of ran away. I'm sorry. It was wrong." He didn't look uneasy, she noted, as some might when apologising. He looked genuine.

"S'OK. It was...I realised, I can actually manage on my own. I lived alone for a week. I know that's not very long, but now I _know_ I can manage it."

"It's liberating, isn't it?" He said with a smile. "When I bought this place – everyone thought I was crazy, I know – I was determined to live alone, manage alone. Terrified me. Hardly slept the first night. But it's amazing to know you can manage it." He ran a hand through his hair. "Too quiet though. Sometimes the silence...well, I'm not used to silence. It would drive me crazy. The house needs people. Kids."

"You'll fill it with them." She murmured. "You always wanted to."

"Yeah. I'll fill it with them. Ally, listen, the reason I left – I was hiding out at Al's, by the way."

She blinked, then rolled her eyes. "I shoulda known. He came by nearly every day."

"He wanted to. You're one of his best friends, too. But, yeah, I practically forced him out the door a few times." He flashed a grin. "Big brother's privilege. I invaded his home then kicked him out of it daily. Anyway, the reason, I realised I was in love with you. Am in love with you."

For a moment, she didn't speak, didn't move, didn't breathe. "Oh." She murmured finally. Her heart beat sped up. Neither was aware of it, but its pace now matched his.

"I, well, Lydia said you, ah, felt the same."

"I do." She looked at the floor, the wall, anywhere but him. "I'm just, I'm not sure how to...Everything's crazy at the minute." She glanced towards him, then away. "What a way to say it."

"I know." He shifted, half awkward, half relieved to have it out there. "Ally, I'm not going to lie and say this changes nothing, because obviously it does. But I've loved you for years. I mean, Lydia thinks -"

"I know. She told me."

"I think she's right. But I can wait, I can wait a little longer. I know you have to worry about your son." He half shrugged, decided against telling her how proud he was of her, how much he admired her for her strength. She'd considered herself weak, he knew, and hoped that she'd never think that way again. No one who could manage the pain, mess and trama of childbirth could be called weak. "You busy Saturday?"

"What? Um, no."

"Good. I'm pretty certain you can arrange a sitter for the baby." He flashed a grin. "The family'll fight over who gets the privalige. I'd like to take you out. On, like, a date."

"A...a date." She repeated.

"Yeah. Maybe Saturday's too soon. You'd worry about the baby." He paused, considering.

"Ah, I...You want to go out on a date?"

He grinned at her. "Well, as much as I'd love to just move back in and marry you, I figure we should do this properly. It's going to be a little complex, with the baby. I figure you wouldn't want to introduce a...boyfriend to him straight away, but, well, I don't much feel like avoiding him. But it'll be down to you, obviously."

"Right. You're serious about this, aren't you? About, about me?" It was a little hard to accept that anyone _could_ be, but she was working on it.

"You...you're it, for me, Ally." He looked at her, right at her, his voice serious. "I don't know how I couldn't have realised it before. This is it. If you don't want to...well, you'll have to say now, 'cause my plans go along the lines of dating, moving in, marriage, more kids, growing old together. Spending the afterlife together, if there is one. It scares me a little, but I know its right."

"James...what about the baby? He's...he's another guy's son. Can you -"

"Don't ask me if I can handle that. You know me. Haven't I always said I want my kids from Phoenix House? I don't _care_ whose blood and DNA they have. That means nothing to me - a kid's real parents are the ones who've raised them, loved them. You know this. I know Archie...he's got rights, and he'll be a part of the baby's life. But I can share with him. The baby's yours, and one day he'll be mine."

"You're awfully confident." She lightened her tone. "For all you know, the date will be a disaster, and I'll decide I don't love you after all."

He sighed. "And then I'll be forced to spend the rest of my days in my brother's spare room, pining for you."

She laughed. "Al'd kick you out eventually."

"Then I'd be homeless and pining for you. I guess we'll just have to make sure the date's a success, to spare me from that life. You coming downstairs, or going back to sleep?"

"Downstairs. I want to see my son." She couldn't help the huge grin. Her son. She had a son.

"C'mon then. You got a name for him? 'Cause I don't think he'll appreciate being called "the baby" when he's older."

"Jeez. Older. He's not even a full day old yet. Don't age him." She climbed out of the bed, walked towards him. "And yeah, I have a name. I chose it last week. Sort of. I wanted to see if it fit, when he was born."

"You gonna tell me it?" He linked his fingers with hers. It had been a long while since anyone had walked around holding her hand, and Ally realised she'd missed it.

"Mason." She said. She'd said it aloud a million times in the last week, testing it out, getting herself used to it.

"Mason." He repeated, then nodded. "I like it."

Mason James, Ally thought silently. She'd decided that about halfway through the labour. But for now, that would be her secret.

----------------------

Mason was three days old, had been visited by every member of his blood and honorary family, and was meeting his father for the first time. Ally struggled against resentment that Archie hadn't come to see his son any sooner. And struggled to decide how she felt about her son's eyes, which were so obviously his father's.

"He has your eyes." She said to Archie, who was staring into Mason's basket.

"I know." Distance, Archie reminded himself. He had to keep a distance there. Couldn't bond, couldn't be amazed at the image of his eyes in this tiny, innocent face; couldn't love.

"Do you, ah, want to hold him?" Ally asked awkwardly. Archie looked up, shook his head.

"It's probably better that I don't." He replied. He'd worked this out, spent most of last night thinking about it. He couldn't afford to hold this tiny, amazing little baby, because he couldn't afford to love him. That just wasn't how things were going to work. "I need to talk to you, Ally."

"So you said." She nodded, glanced once more at her son before sitting down. "Talk, Archie."

He sat, hesitated, twisted the hem of his sleeve. "I've sort of found a new job."

"Oh." She was slightly confused. Surely a new job didn't warrant this awkwardness, this level of nerves? "That...That's great. Um..."

"In Tokoyo." He blurted it, then offered her an apologetic smile. "In, um, in Japan."

"Oh." She felt her heart sink as she imagined sending her son, her precious little baby, off to Japan to visit Archie. Of the worry and stress.

"It's, well, it's the job of my dreams, and you, um, you know I love the country." They were going to honeymoon there, Ally remembered. "It's too good an opportunity to pass. I'm leaving next week." He added. "I..."

"You want to work out the arrangements." She murmured. At his blank look, she tilted her head in confusion. "For Mason. Um, custody...visits..."

"Oh." He glanced again at the baby's basket. "No. No, Ally. That's...I think it's for the best if...Mason..." He paused, hearing the name in his own voice was something different, feeling the way it felt to say it was something knew. And he had to ignore it. "Mason will be a lot better off without me. You, ah, I heard you and James are..."

"What? From who?" It was hardly common knowledge - and they hadn't even been on their first date yet.

He tugged at his collar. "When Lydia got in touch, to tell me about – about Mason, I asked her. She, well, she said you were...starting something..."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess we are. I suppose you were right."

He nodded. "And since I know you, and I know James, I figure this is likely to be permanent."

"Hopefully." Ally murmured.

"Right. Mason...He'll be a lot better off with a secure family base. I'll support him, obviously. We'll work out financial –"

"Do you plan to be a part of Mason's life, Archie?" She asked coolly. How, she wondered, how could anyone look into that innocent face and not want to keep him?

"No." It hurt to say the word, but Archie did anyway. He'd made his choices, days before. "I...I'm not ready to be a father, Ally. I...I never was. I know – we both know – that I won't be a good father. Mason's better off with James as his dad. If James wishes to - to adopt him, I'll give my permission..." It hurt, more than he'd thought it would, and Archie knew he was right not to hold the baby. If he did, he might never be able to let him go.

"We'll cross that when we come to it." Because there was something close to pain in his eyes, she didn't ask him all the questions in her head – why didn't he want his son, how could he bear to leave him, why hadn't he looked at Mason and fallen in love?

"Ally, I'm not going to Japan alone. Catarina – Ah, that is, the woman..."

"I caught you with." Ally guessed, and he flushed and nodded.

"Um, yes. Well, Catarina and I are going together. We're..._We're_ together. And she...well, it's hardly fair to expect her to play step-mum, is it? And hardly fair to drag the boy across the world every other weekend." He knew what he was giving up, and felt it break his heart a little. "Um, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't be a father, and sorry I hurt you."

"It's OK."

"I never meant for it to turn out like this."

"I know. Archie, if you don't wish to be Mason's dad, I don't want any money from you. I don't need it, and neither does he." She didn't say it angrily, or spitefully, but fairly.

"Ally, I -"

"No. Archie...if you're willing to let him go, then you can cut all ties. You should cut all ties."

He hesitated, then nodded. "I suppose...there's nothing else...I'll go." He stood, as did she. "I, um, probably won't see you before I leave, so..."

"Goodbye, Archie." She said softly.

"I...Ally, I need you to know...I _did _love you. Just not..."

"Enough." She finished. At his shocked, guilty expression, she smiled. "It's OK, Archie. I understand exactly. We...we just weren't right for each other."

He nodded. "I...Ally. I said I'm willing to let James adopt Mason, and I am. God knows he'll be a great father." He envied him that. James would be the father he could never be, to the son that he could have. "But...I was hoping...Would it be possible for you to write, occasionally, and let me know how he's doing? Just..."

"Would you like some photos as well?" She asked gently. He closed his eyes briefly, then nodded.

"If it's not too much trouble. I can't be a father to anyone, Ally, not now. Maybe not ever. But that doesn't mean I'll ignore his existence, doesn't mean I don't...feel anything for him. You understand, don't you, that this is difficult, that I'm going what I think is best for him?"

"I do." She murmured. "I'll write you, I'll send pictures. When he's old enough, I'll explain. I won't ignore your existence. But..."

"James will be his father." Archie finished. Ally recalled their date.

"Maybe. I'm not going to rush anything, Archie, for Mason's sake. I'll let you know, though, if we ever wish to take you up on your offer. Will you...will you say goodbye to Mason?"

He swallowed, nodded and crossed back to the baby. Mason's eyes locked on his, and Archie felt his heart break. He'd resolved not to hold him, resolved to maintain a distance. But he couldn't stop himself gently, awkwardly, lifting the boy into his arms.

"He doesn't look like you, except for the eyes." Ally murmured beside him, as Archie studied every inch of the infant's face, committing it to memory.

"No. I guess that's a sign, huh? I'm not meant to be his dad." But it was the hardest thing he'd ever done, to hand Mason back to Ally. She cradled her son as she walked Archie to the door.

"Best of luck, Ally." He murmured in the doorway. "You and James..." He smiled, genuinely. "I doubt you'll need it, but good luck."

She nodded. "You too. With Catarina, with the job. Have a nice life. I'll...if you let me know your address, I'll send you some pictures."

He nodded. "Goodbye, Ally." And shifted his gaze to his son. But not his, he thought sadly. Not really. "Goodbye, Mason."

And he turned, walked, without looking back, painfully aware that he wasn't leaving behind a child, and an ex; aware that when he moved to Japan next week he wouldn't be leaving behind a country and memories. He was walked away from an entire life, a future he could have had.

But he also knew that he wouldn't have enjoyed that life, that future. He was making the best choice for himself, for Ally, and for the baby. And knowing that eased the guilt some.

Ally watched him go, holding her son tightly. "That was the man who helped create you." She murmured. "And he wasn't all bad, not really. But he was never meant to be your daddy." She turned away, moved back into the living area. "Someone else was."


	12. Chapter 12

Well, here it is. The final chapter - more of an epilogue really - so I'll just say that it I hope people enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it, and thanks to each and every person who took the time to review.

Chapter 12

_Three months later._

"Well, I guess at least no one'll say you rushed into anything." Lydia said, clearly unimpressed. She and Ally were sat at the kitchen table. "You guys don't _need_ to date. You've known each other forever. You're in love. And he's still living with Al instead of with you. Why not just marry the guy and get it done, Ally?"

Ally smiled at her with amusment. "It's not that simple. We want to do things properly, not just go from friends to a married couple. We're having a _relationship_." She lingered over the last word, thrilled with it. She liked being in relationships anyway, and a relationship with James was...something else. She glanced, again, at the little vase of flowers in the middle of the table. It had been a really long time since anyone had given her flowers.

"I get that. I guess." Lydia nodded. "I just don't understand how dating works when you already know and love each other. Haven't you already acheived the whole point of dating?"

"Well, yeah. But...we were adjusting, mostly, to thinking differently, acting differently. Building a proper relationship." Ally shrugged, started to turn to check on her son and then remembered James had taken him out. She'd have to stop checking on him so frequently anyway, she told herself. Nothing was going to happen to Mason. (Nothing could, because she knew it would destroy her.)

"Were?" Lydia repeated, her eyes sharp. "_Were_ adjusting, you said. Does that mean you've accomplished that?"

Ally paused, fighting a smile. "OK, listen, don't repeat this, to _anyone_ OK? Even Lily. As much as I love her, her first loyalty is to James." Ally gave into the smile, remembering Lily coming to her, a few days after Ally and James' first date, to make sure that Ally wouldn't hurt him. It was sweet and very _Lily_.

"Yeah, OK. I promise."

"I think we have. We're a _couple, _a real one. And, God, he's amazing with Mason."

"I've noticed. I sort of thought, you know, if James was someone you'd just met and started to date, you wouldn't let him near Mason straight away, but 'cause it's James...I wondered if that made it difficult."

"It did. James attached to him straight away, James...is Mason's father. I know that might sound stupid, since me and James aren't even living together, but it's true. I'd never have thought it, but that's really how it is." It thrilled her and scared her to admit it, even as a tiny part of her regretted that her son was no longer hers, and hers alone. "I worried, you know, what'd happen if it didn't work out? What kind of relationship would they have? I mean, I know Mason's only three months old, but I swear he loves James."

"That's not a problem though. " Lydia replied. "You guys are perfect together. It _has_ worked out. And yeah, James is Mason's dad. The way James looks at him...fatherly love and pride, almost from the begining."

"I know. It's sort of scary, because I know, in a way I never did with Archie or anyone else, that this is _it_, forever."

"Aw, Ally. I'm so pleased for you. It's so...rare to get that." Lydia beamed at her, eyes shining.

"I know. So, um, hopefully, he'll realised, soon, that we're OK, and...well, three months is too soon to be getting married, Lydia, so don't start looking at bridesmaids dresses -"

"Three months is, but you've known each other your whole life, so it counts for, like, twenty-odd years and -"

"Uh-huh. You know, Lydie, I think this has less to do with you wanting me and James married, and more to do with your innate love of weddings."

Lydia grinned. "Bit of both, bit of both. But I swear, Ally, James is so, so in love with you, and Mason. He won't wait much longer."

Ally only smiled, and secretly hoped Lydia was right.

-------------------

James, the kid's a mess." Ginny Weasley surveyed her son and the baby she already thought of as her grandson (though she wasn't old enough to be a grandmother, of course) with a raised eyebrow.

"He's a baby. He's supposed to be a mess. And he likes it." James replied. "You and Ally are all about keeping him clean. What's with that? He's a little boy, he's _supposed_ to be dirty."

"Uh-huh." Ginny remember making the same statement to her own mother, twenty odd years ago. "But you've gotta put the effort in. Give him here."

James sighed, looked at the infant. "Sorry, kid. I tried. At least you're young enough that you'll forget the betrayal." His mock seriousness turned into a grin as Ginny rolled her eyes at him. She took Mason from him, started cleaning his face and looked up at her eldest son. "You look happy."

"I am. I'd never have thought it, before. Me and Ally. And then when I did, it was like...it was there all along. I really think Lydia was right. You know, I told you what she said? About when we were younger?"

"I remember. She's always right. It's spooky." Ginny started cleaning Mason's t-shirt, not bothering to ask what exactly the stains were. Amazing, she decided, that the kid was such a mess when she knew James had only had him for a couple of hours. "But me and Hannah always suspected. Your father thought it was more a brother-sister relationship, but I knew better. I was never like that."

James flashed back, to being sixteen, kissing Ally for the first time. Completly unplanned, completely out of the blue, but so right. Maybe a part of him had known then that they'd never go back to just being friends, no matter how much they tried. "No, it never was. You, ah, you're OK about it all, though, right?" He shifted nervously, brushed a hand over Mason's dark hair and looked at his mother. He had to check, to make sure, before... "I mean, you like Ally..."

"I love her, and she's perfect for you." Ginny replied. And, she thought, while she liked most of the other girls James had ever introduced her to, Ally was the only one she considered good enough for him. She smiled brightly at the baby.

"And, um, Mason..." James said. He already considered the boy his, in a way that some men would never be able to. But he had to make it official, permanent.

"We've talked about this." Ginny replied. "He's already yours. So he's already mine. He's my grandson." Maybe it wasn't the way she'd imagined getting her first grandchild, but that didn't matter. She looked back down at the baby. "Just remember, kiddo, I'm a very young grandma."

"I'm going to ask Ally to marry me." He said casually.

"Oh. Well." Ginny looked at him for a long moment. "You think she's ready for that?"

"She ought to be. I want to marry her, mum, and I need Mason to be mine, legally, officially. I need them both to...have my name." He paused. "Does that sound...possessive?"

"No. No, it doesn't. It sounds right. It's the right way to feel." She couldn't help the thin sheen of tears that settled over her eyes.

"Mum, don't cry. Please." James pleaded quickly.

"I'm not." She forced a smile. "I'm really not. It's just...first Lily, now you. It's so hard to let go."

James shifted uneasily, but the tears had gone so he tried to relax a little. "If it helps, no one's queuing up to marry Al."

"He'll get there, in his own time. Here, take your...take your son."

James lifted the boy from her, and looked at him. He didn't see Archie there. He'd worried he might, that it might make things difficult. But even when he looked at those grey eyes, he only saw Mason, the brightness and the curiosity there.

So he smiled at the baby, his son in every way that mattered, and his only thought was that Mason Potter sounded right. Very right.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Six years later._

Noise. The beautiful house was full of noise. Shouts, laughs, and the sound of running feet. The floors were cluttered with toys, paper, crayons and other symbols of childhood, and the shiny coffee table that had been a rather expensive antique had several sticky patches. The sofa had a bright pink stain where a drink had been spilled, and the rug was bunched up. Ally didn't bother to sigh – no one paid attention anyway – but pulled out her wand, cleaning the room. The clutter, however, stayed. She'd learned a long while ago that no matter how many times she tidied the kids' toys away, they'd end up scattered about anyway.

But she loved it. Maybe it was tiring, maybe it was chaotic, maybe it was often confusing and frustrating, and maybe there were times when she locked herself in the bathroom and wished to be anywhere else. But she loved it, really, every minute of it, and she loved the kids, both Mason and the children they'd adopted. Yes, she hadn't birthed them, but they were hers.

She turned at the sound of the front door opening, shot a smile at her husband. "Your turn to cook tonight," was her greeting.

He raised his eyebrows. "I know. You're oddly gleeful about that." He crossed to her, kissed her. "The kids acting up?"

"No more than any child of yours. Nah, they've been OK, mostly."

James grinned at her. When other little wizard boys had been dreaming of being a world-famous Quidditch player, or an Auror or a superhero when they grew up, James had wanted to be a world famous Quidditch player _and_ marry someone he loved (someone as amazing as he'd secretly considered the females in his family to be) _and_ have a bunch of kids. A loud messy family.

Maybe he wasn't yet a world famous Quidditch player, but he was, if he did so himself, a damn good one, and maybe in another couple of years...? But he'd found, somewhere that he'd never have looked, someone he loved and considered perfect. And they were on their way to that loud messy family.

"So, listen, I was thinking..."

"James." There was both amusement and warning in her tone as she recognised exactly where he was heading. "Don't even go there."

"Aw, c'mon darling..." He slid his arms around her waist, used his best charming smile.

She laughed, shook her head. "Not yet." She tilted her head, smirked at him. "Mention it in another month or two, and I'll consider another."

He grinned back, kissed her again. "Six weeks." He decided. "Six weeks then I'm gonna talk you into it."

"Like it takes much to talk me into it." She replied. And that was why she couldn't let him talk about another child now, before they were ready - because she loved the idea of another. And it was also why he wouldn't _try_ to talk about it before she was ready. Respect, Ally decided. With the love and friendship and a shared past and memories and children, they had respect for each other. And she now had respect for herself, too.

"For now, mister, go say hello to the children you've got."

"'Kay." He grinned again, then started for the stairs. She counted to five, then heard loud, laughing screams, and rolled her eyes. One of those screams was from her husband, who pretended to be an adult.

She paused, listened to the noise from above, then moved towards the stairs herself.

This was home, and she and James had found each other, here, and found their home. And then they'd given home and family to the children they'd made their own.

It was right, James decided as he watched her walk towards them, as he lifted Mason, held him upside down while the boy and his siblings giggled. It was exactly right.

_A home is not created by a house but the people in it. Home is where the heart is._


End file.
